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Parent Emeritus
Just musing: Whom do you tell? Friends? Family? No one?
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 460706" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>It's been 7 years and I'm still holding on to that for many many people. Somehow I know who I can tell and who I can't. I didn't tell anyone for years. I think it's easier for people to digest when they don't really know us, and we go over it bit by bit. "He's sleeping on a friend's couch." "He's sleeping on my parent's couch." "He's sleeping on husband's couch." "He got fired." "He got fired." "He got fired." "He got fired." They kind of figure it out eventually. </p><p></p><p>Now that he is older, and we and our friends are older, they seem to understand when we say "He was in therapy from the time he was 7 years old, and he won't accept help." If they still don't get it, they do when I tell them "He left home when he was arrested for assaulting his father." It's not fun, but it's what it is. I think we probably didn't do ourselves any favors by hiding it for all of those years. I'm sure people knew something was wrong and thought we were ignoring it. I KNOW that many people thought we were doing the wrong thing and if we'd only try this or that. But there comes a time when everyone knows a very nice person or a very nice couple who has a grown kid who is chronically unemployed and lives here and there. They get less judgmental about it as your difficult child gets older. They understand that everyone is autonomous.</p><p></p><p>But there are still people who get the standard, "He's between jobs." "He's working at a restaurant on the other side of town." "He's helping out with his grandma." It's just none of their business if they can't be supportive.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 460706, member: 99"] It's been 7 years and I'm still holding on to that for many many people. Somehow I know who I can tell and who I can't. I didn't tell anyone for years. I think it's easier for people to digest when they don't really know us, and we go over it bit by bit. "He's sleeping on a friend's couch." "He's sleeping on my parent's couch." "He's sleeping on husband's couch." "He got fired." "He got fired." "He got fired." "He got fired." They kind of figure it out eventually. Now that he is older, and we and our friends are older, they seem to understand when we say "He was in therapy from the time he was 7 years old, and he won't accept help." If they still don't get it, they do when I tell them "He left home when he was arrested for assaulting his father." It's not fun, but it's what it is. I think we probably didn't do ourselves any favors by hiding it for all of those years. I'm sure people knew something was wrong and thought we were ignoring it. I KNOW that many people thought we were doing the wrong thing and if we'd only try this or that. But there comes a time when everyone knows a very nice person or a very nice couple who has a grown kid who is chronically unemployed and lives here and there. They get less judgmental about it as your difficult child gets older. They understand that everyone is autonomous. But there are still people who get the standard, "He's between jobs." "He's working at a restaurant on the other side of town." "He's helping out with his grandma." It's just none of their business if they can't be supportive. [/QUOTE]
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Just musing: Whom do you tell? Friends? Family? No one?
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