Just need some support

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by magpie, Mar 24, 2007.

  1. magpie

    magpie New Member

    Hi all,
    This has been a miserable week. My dear child refused to go to school the entire week. He had had a good two weeks previous, but he slowly began to be more abusive, i.e., "shut up," "I hate you." etc. He runs around the house screaming, can't fall asleep, sleeps in the shower in the morning and hides under the blanket and refused to get dressed for school. Took him to therapist who said let's put him in the hospital. That caused horrible rage all the way home with him saying, "you want to put me in the hospital like Daddy and I'll never get out!" Pediatrician checked him..he has gained 45 pounds since September. Doing bloodwork on Monday. Not sure if I want him on Lexapro. I allowed him to rage for hours last night and I've taken all his computers/games away. I'm exhausted..not sure what the school is going to say. He is never bad in school if he gets there...I could go on but I need to know I'm not alone
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    (((Hugs))) magpie,

    Can the school send someone to get him? When I taught at an alternate school for a few years, there was one boy that I would pick up and take to school. He was 14 or 15 and the first few days the police met us at the house and escorted him to the school van, but after that he'd just come out when I honked. My son Tigger is also very anti-school and the school is tracking how his school refusal is effecting his attendance and he may get private bus service for next year.

    Have you looked into trying Geodon? It was a miracle drug for my Kanga. She still has issues but the horrible, suicidal depression has lifted.

  3. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    We *just* entered the school refusal phase (which actually was coupled with refusal to LEAVE school when he went, believe it or not), so I can not offer any wonderful advice, as the school has not been much help (and actually think their change in tactics AT school played a big role in his refusal). Anyway, I'm rambling.

    Just wanted to give some big hugs to you, as I know how frustrating and emotionally draining it is...especially if your difficult child is anything like ours and will rage the entire 7 hours of the school day when he stays home.

    Our difficult child is currently in the psychiatric hospital and your psychiatrist might be right that it may be the right next step...especially if he ever talks of hurting himself or during his rages is ever a danger of hurting you or someone in your home.
  4. oceans

    oceans New Member

    The hosptial might be a good thing to try. It was the best thing that we ever tried. He will get some evaluations done, and they can moniter him each day. He will have tons of structure and go to group therapy. It is the best place I can think of to do medication trials. They might get a good understanding of what might actually work for him.
  5. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    in light of humor, you'd probably only have to dump him off half naked once................. <<<HUGS>>> I know how you feel trust me. I take him late no matter how long or what it takes. Luckily I have an understanding job.
  6. realangel

    realangel New Member


    I know how draining it can be trying to get difficult child to go to school, then having the day long abuse when he wont go! lat term he attended 36 days out of a possible 146... the two terms before that he ddint attend at all. Social services wanted me to bribe him, but now he bribes me!!

    Hang on in there!
  7. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would for sure get him off the Lexapro if this is new behavior since starting it. Is he still on the Adderall?
  8. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Sorry for your stress, no real help from this end... we have the struggle in the morning and that is part of the reason we have difficult child in a Waldorf Program, they play outside for the first 1/2 hour of the day, so we can show up anytime during that 1/2 hour!!! A lot of the time they play for 45 minutes or so. And she is only in pre-school... but we are thinking of keeping her in this program due to how depressed she is in the morning and look at therspies outside the school... at least for the next year...
    I just can't fight with her and push her, she needs the sleep, she gets more anxious if I rush her, she gets depressed if she thinks she is late... all of it makes it worse for her if I don't stay calm and gently guide/push her!!! I also have to fight with her sister and she ends up screaming, refusing to go. ugh.
    I hate being late for everything, but I have learned to start extra early for everything and to schedule apts, later in the day, as for school, I can only stress so much. I am sure when we get to public school it will get worse...yikes!
    good luck