Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Just need to talk.....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 245127" data-attributes="member: 393"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">You are the best ~ I've felt so very lost since husband died. Even though we had our issues I now understand the last 6 months of his instability were due to his illness. His liver was no longer filtering - his brain was being destroyed. I'm amazed at how functional he was at work.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">The night he entered the hospital he called me to take him to the ER with-o telling me what was going on. I refused because I can't drive at night (my night vision is zilch right now). I told husband if he was here I'd be calling an ambulance if he was that bad off. I'll never forgive myself even though I didn't have other options. He went via ambulance & by the time I arrived the next day he was in a coma. I never again spoke with husband ~ he couldn't respond. I stood by his bedside & let him know how much he was loved, played his favorite music & read from his favorite books.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">AND I'm angry that he chose to continue drinking after all was said & done. I remember how terrified he was that I would die & leave him here alone. That's when we began discussing our wishes for end of life situations. husband moved out of the house to blow out what was remaining of his liver (I didn't even know he was sick, he didn't share) - he committed suicide. And he was sicker a lot longer than he let on.....never told me. Never went to the doctor. AND I'm so angry that he threw away years of marriage; years of watching his children grow & become adults. All the dreams that we built became paranoid ideations. I remember being glad when he moved out....I thought we needed the seperation, the time to clear our minds & decide the next steps. husband agreed to counseling & rehab. husband was one of the most tormented men you'd ever met yet he had a wicked sense of humor, a musical bent, a way with words (he was an incredible writer) & a goofy sense of style.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I was proud of our marriage - of the good, bad & indifferent. We survived many of the bad issues. I have pictures in the picture memorial that show so many of the good times & sides of husband. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I want those back. I want husband back. I hate this. The rug was pulled out from under my family by a member of my family. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I know life isn't fair but this bites the big one. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Am I eathing? When I remember. Sleeping comes & goes. As the prednisone is being decreased the swelling in my brain increases. The headaches are beyond belief. Yet I function every day to meet my obligations. No one can say I'm a bad parent - a bad wife. I'll admit to the bad housekeeper. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I feel as though I'm dying inside - this has to stop. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">I'm done rambling. I'm off to do something other than whine. I doubt I'll be able to wake kt up in time for mass. Wish I could let this 14 y/o infant home alone - just once.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 245127, member: 393"] [SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS]You are the best ~ I've felt so very lost since husband died. Even though we had our issues I now understand the last 6 months of his instability were due to his illness. His liver was no longer filtering - his brain was being destroyed. I'm amazed at how functional he was at work. The night he entered the hospital he called me to take him to the ER with-o telling me what was going on. I refused because I can't drive at night (my night vision is zilch right now). I told husband if he was here I'd be calling an ambulance if he was that bad off. I'll never forgive myself even though I didn't have other options. He went via ambulance & by the time I arrived the next day he was in a coma. I never again spoke with husband ~ he couldn't respond. I stood by his bedside & let him know how much he was loved, played his favorite music & read from his favorite books. AND I'm angry that he chose to continue drinking after all was said & done. I remember how terrified he was that I would die & leave him here alone. That's when we began discussing our wishes for end of life situations. husband moved out of the house to blow out what was remaining of his liver (I didn't even know he was sick, he didn't share) - he committed suicide. And he was sicker a lot longer than he let on.....never told me. Never went to the doctor. AND I'm so angry that he threw away years of marriage; years of watching his children grow & become adults. All the dreams that we built became paranoid ideations. I remember being glad when he moved out....I thought we needed the seperation, the time to clear our minds & decide the next steps. husband agreed to counseling & rehab. husband was one of the most tormented men you'd ever met yet he had a wicked sense of humor, a musical bent, a way with words (he was an incredible writer) & a goofy sense of style. I was proud of our marriage - of the good, bad & indifferent. We survived many of the bad issues. I have pictures in the picture memorial that show so many of the good times & sides of husband. I want those back. I want husband back. I hate this. The rug was pulled out from under my family by a member of my family. I know life isn't fair but this bites the big one. Am I eathing? When I remember. Sleeping comes & goes. As the prednisone is being decreased the swelling in my brain increases. The headaches are beyond belief. Yet I function every day to meet my obligations. No one can say I'm a bad parent - a bad wife. I'll admit to the bad housekeeper. I feel as though I'm dying inside - this has to stop. I'm done rambling. I'm off to do something other than whine. I doubt I'll be able to wake kt up in time for mass. Wish I could let this 14 y/o infant home alone - just once. [/FONT][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Just need to talk.....
Top