Just need to talk

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Liahona, Apr 20, 2007.

  1. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    Hi, I don't know if its normal pregancy mood swings and exhastion or if I'm getting depressed again. I cry over everything. Normally I can hear bad news and be appropriately upset. NOW I'm over the top mad or crying my eyes out. husband is worried about me. Says he has been watching me shut down the past two weeks. He says that I can't function. He might be right. I'm just so tired all the time. All I want to do is sleep. difficult child 2's programs that are supposed to help him aren't getting done, EVERY dish is dirty. We have to wash silverware to eat before everymeal. I think I have energy for about 1-2 hours of work and I try to spend them on the kids. Its no good asking husband for help. Anything outside of his routine is like pulling teeth. I'd rather endure a meltdown from difficult child 1.

    The more we learn about autism the more I think husband is on the spectrum. He is so stressed out that he is losing his hair in circle patches, but I'm the one that has most of the responsibliets. I feel very overwhelmed and lonely. Thanks for listening.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    My husband is on the spectrum and it sure isn't easy.

    Every pregnancy is different. One pregnancy you might feel terrific, the next horrid throughout. My easy child so far has been horribly sick and exhausted with both of her pregnancies. It's the same with the hormones. One time may not be bad, next time you feel like a yo yo.

    Are you taking care to take your prenatal vitamens and eating right? You could have your ob check your iron levels. When mine got low in a preg I would drag horribly. Make sure you're getting 8 hrs of sleep.

    The world isn't going to fall apart because you have dirty dishes. How about getting some paper plates, disposable cups and silverware til you feel better? That would help keep the dishes down some.

    Do what you can and don't worry about the rest. Any chance you can guilt husband into helping? (it's the only thing that works with mine) Does difficult child help out?

    I see you're at the beginning of your pregnancy. When I was preg with N my first 2 months were awful. (I'd not had that with the first 2) By the time I hit the 2nd trimester I started feeling better. Then I was great thru the rest of it.

    Hopefully this is just the first trimester Icks and you'll pass thru it soon.

  3. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Aw Emily... a big hug to you.

    I do agree every pregnancy is different. My first one, I threw up and cried for 3 straight months. I was a wreck... dragged into work, dragged home and went to bed. Period. Funny story - had to switch OBs at about 9 weeks. Went into new doctor, was sitting in the exam room just *sobbing*, she came in and asked in a chit-chatty way why I was there and what she could do for me. There I am, red puffy face and eyes, runny nose, just a mess... and I tell her "I'm pregnant (sob) (and she gets this really concerned look on her face)... I'm really *really* happy about it (sob, sob)... but I just feel awful (sob, drip, gag)." She burst into laughter, bless her heart. I was malnourished, anemic, and dehydrated. That hour of IV fluid was the *best* thing that ever happened to me!!! :wink: So... first thing I'd suggest is a quick check up with- OB to make sure you're well hydrated and not starting in with- anemia.

    You know that this will pass. In another month or so your body will get with- the program, the hormones will chill, and of course soon you'll be feeling the little one making his/her presence known. In the meantime, give yourself a break. Get done what *has* to get done. I have been known to buy plastic utensils and paper plates and cups. While it goes totally against my nature to go disposable, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. If you need to sleep, do it. If there are things that need to get coordinated for difficult child 2, pick *one* thing a day (or every couple of days) to deal with-. The world is not going to end if you need to take a few weeks off from your Super Mom status.

    I'm sending you many gentle hugs, truly. As awful as you're feeling right now, try to take time to appreciate it too. I have to tell you, there are days when I really regret that my baby days are over and that, especially with the later pregnancies, I didn't take the time to be in awe.

    Hang in there, hon. :kisses:
  4. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm so sorry that you're feeling so lousy. My pregnancies, like my kids, were as different as night and day. With my first, I felt healthier than I ever had. With my second, I had no energy and was depressed most of the time. But I know that saying things like this, too shall pass doesn't help how you're feeling right now. It may pass, but it sure sucks while it lasts, doesn't it?

    The best advice I can offer is to not waste valuable energy beating yourself up over the little things. So what you have to wash utensils in order to eat. In the grand scheme of things, that really isn't all that important. Focus on what you do accomplish, no matter how small. Honestly, when you are feeling like this accomplishing anything is a feat and you should feel good about it.

  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hugs to you. :angel:
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm sending supportive hugs, too. DDD

    PS: Feel free "to talk" as much as you need in order to feel a
    bit better!
  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Oh I am so sorry. I remember the guilt of laying on the couch in and out of sleep letting difficult child 1 watch TV and feeling SO guilty, I was just in the beginning stages of thinking something was wrong with her.
    I can not imagine doing this with my kids now... you are in a difficult situation and you need to go easy on yourself. You have your hands full when you are feeling 100%!!!
    Please use us to vent, cry, chat!!! Let it out!

    You need some energy for those kids!!! But everyone is right, who cares if the house is dirty for awhile??? Maybe husband will realise you need help. Mentally and physically.

    Hang in there... I hope this is the early yucks... and you get that energy boost! Fingers crossed. :angel:
  8. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I am sorry you are feeling so bad. With my first pregnancy I felt great. Just so very tired. That passed after the first trimester. Second pregnancy(difficult child) I was sick every single day the entire pregancy. Didn't have time to feel moody or tired. was just so sick, all day too. Prior to difficult child pregnancy I had a miscarriage. I always wonder if that child would of made it, would it have been a difficult child? I know, that child was just not ready and god wanted us to have this special gift. I think God over estimated me. They say god will never give you more than you can handle.
    Hope things start feeling better soon.
  9. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I've been through a few periods like this, once during pregnancy as well as a few other times. Take care of yourself--if your body is desperate for sleep, then sleep is what you need.

    Buy disposable plates, bowls, cups, and silver! I did this just a few weeks ago during the midst of a painting project and it saved a lot of time and guilt. While you're at it buy some crockpot liners and disposable foil baking pans.

    Do you have any support available? Do you know of any families with an older teenage girl who could come and help out? Friends who could drop off meals or run errands for you?
  10. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I agree with the others - you need to take it easy on yourself and give yourself a break! So what if you let some of the housework slide for a while! There's worse things in this life than dust bunnies! You're holding yourself up to impossibly high standards. You need to adjust your priorities for a while. And you need some help! And if your husband is under so much stress that his hair is falling out, HE needs some help too! He will be of no help to you if he, himself, is unable to cope.

    And you need a visit to your doctor to see if you have become anemic! I'm another one whose pregancies were as different as night and day. With my second, I was four months along before I even realized I was pregnant! But in the early stages with my first one, I started feeling that same way ... too tired to even move! The fatigue was just overwhelming. I cried at the thought of having to get up and cook dinner! And I didn't have other children to contend with while I felt this bad! Turns out I was VERY anemic and it had come on suddenly. Some iron supplements and getting out of that yucky first trimester turned things right around and I was back on track again.

    So vent away if you need to! That's what we're here for. We've all been through this too! I hope you're feeling lots better very soon.

  11. On_Call

    On_Call New Member


    First, I am sending you additional {{{hugs}}}.

    I remember being so tired during my first pregnancy that I once came home from work and laid down on the couch with my coat and boots still on - and basically passed out for 45 minutes. husband came home from work and found me like that and freaked out. I was just exhausted the whole entire first trimester. Thankfully, it got better.

    I also agree with the cybersisters who have already posted that anemia might be the sneaky culprit, as I suffered with it through both pregnancies. Just upped my iron intake and I felt much, much better.

    We also do not normally go with disposable dishes/silverware, but several times during pregnancies and moves and renovations we have gone that route and it saves more stress in the long run, so I'd say go for it for now. When you are feeling better, you can always pack the stuff away for a picnic some other time.

    Take care of you.
  12. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Emily, how are things today?
  13. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    Thanks for all the support. I really appreaciate it. difficult child 1 just came back from visitation sick. He and difficult child 2 have strep and easy child's throat is kinda red according to the nurse. He has a well baby check up tommorrow and I'll find out then if he has it. Today the test came back negative. I've been trying to get more sleep and it does help alot when I can manage it. Today is more movies.