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Just need to vent.....long
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<blockquote data-quote="ck1" data-source="post: 72527" data-attributes="member: 3767"><p>Tracy: I'm sorry this is so hard...I have a very selfish difficult child as well. We're not in the same position as you are now since mine is still awaiting placement, but the only thing I can think of to do at this time is tell his counselors very clearly what he's like when he's with you and that it's very different then when he's there. Be as specific as possible and give examples. Hopefully they aren't falling for his "show" because that won't help him at all when he leaves there and he's likely to end up back where he started. </p><p></p><p>I am very fearful that we'll face the same thing. My son will do everything he needs to just to get what he wants (in this case to be able to come home) without making any real changes. I think CAmom may have dealt with this when her son was away, maybe she'll come along with more suggestions? Her son had a change of heart in his last two months and ended up doing really well but I don't know exactly what prompted that change.</p><p></p><p>As for the GED plan, I'd be furious about that too. If my son attempts that I will probably think that he's just trying to get out of doing what he knows he should and trying to take the easy way out. Maybe you could ask him why he wants to do that instead? If he has really thought it through and has good reasons maybe it's not really worth the fight since the end result is the same, as long as he follows through with it.</p><p></p><p>Good luck...hopefully this weekend goes better than you're anticipating. Can you refuse to bring him home if it already sounds like the visit may cause trouble? Maybe he needs to appreciate his family more before getting these passes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ck1, post: 72527, member: 3767"] Tracy: I'm sorry this is so hard...I have a very selfish difficult child as well. We're not in the same position as you are now since mine is still awaiting placement, but the only thing I can think of to do at this time is tell his counselors very clearly what he's like when he's with you and that it's very different then when he's there. Be as specific as possible and give examples. Hopefully they aren't falling for his "show" because that won't help him at all when he leaves there and he's likely to end up back where he started. I am very fearful that we'll face the same thing. My son will do everything he needs to just to get what he wants (in this case to be able to come home) without making any real changes. I think CAmom may have dealt with this when her son was away, maybe she'll come along with more suggestions? Her son had a change of heart in his last two months and ended up doing really well but I don't know exactly what prompted that change. As for the GED plan, I'd be furious about that too. If my son attempts that I will probably think that he's just trying to get out of doing what he knows he should and trying to take the easy way out. Maybe you could ask him why he wants to do that instead? If he has really thought it through and has good reasons maybe it's not really worth the fight since the end result is the same, as long as he follows through with it. Good luck...hopefully this weekend goes better than you're anticipating. Can you refuse to bring him home if it already sounds like the visit may cause trouble? Maybe he needs to appreciate his family more before getting these passes. [/QUOTE]
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