I think a lot of you may relate to some of this. I think I doing the right thing but it's hard. difficult child 2 got a DUI a year ago last January. He did end up with probation but in this state, if you're in a rural area, probation is almost impossible. They want you to drive to the main office (75 miles one way)three times per week plus go to two AA meetings per week but there is only one close by so that means a fourth trip the 75 miles. difficult child doesn't have a vehicle that will go that far and even if he did, he wouldn't have the gas money as he is not working but nobody will hire you when you have to be off 4 days per week. So he was supposed to have court tomorrow and the plan was that he would just sit out his sentence and fines - probably 4-6 months. He does have a wife and 4 kids but I guess they would have to manage. So today he called and wanted $200 (which I don't have anyway) so he can not appear tomorrow, and change his plea to not guilty. He wants to fight the charges. In the first place he is guilty and in the second place he has no money for a lawyer. My mother and I have helped him out from the time he started getting in trouble in his early teens. At one point my mother inherited $500,000. She spend most of it on difficult child and was broke when she died. He is now nearly 27 years old; doesn't have a job; has 4 kids; doesn't pay his utilities; lives in my house for free; and wants more help. When I told him today I would not/could not help him, he got very insulting to me. Then he says I will never see my grandkids again as he is going to jail and wife is moving back to Oklahoma with the kids. Apparently the fact that he broke the law and I can't help means he is innocent and I am guilty. I have had it! I told him they would have to do whatever they need to do and it's not my problem. I know he will never learn to be responsible unless I make him and even then I have my doubts. If it were only difficult child and his wife I'd be glad to get rid of them but I feel bad about the grandkids but at this point I can either keep on ruining my own life or write them off and let the chips fall where they may. I can't raise his kids; I raised my own and I'm too old to start over. I really don't expect any great advice for him as he is getting what he deserves. I just need some moral support here and a place to sound off. Thanks.