She called and had left message- I just found it and called back. She says she is ordering in home therapy and it is now a rule of his probation for both of us to comply. So much for it being my choice as I was told yesterday. I told her I couldn't afford to pay bills this month. She told me I should be listening to what others are telling me. Then she proceeded to tell me how we spend time doing this first. Then I say again I cannot afford to pay bills. She threatened noncompliance from me. I told her I checked on status with judge and there is going to be aa hearing. She said she knew I wasn't at work and difficult child wasn't at school and wanted to know why. Then got mad over that and said shouldn't he be rested up and go to school. I said I had tried to epxlain that things were not normal here. She said "just answer the question". I said yes, he should be, but things aren't like they should be. This is what I'd been trying to tell people. She said she expected him to go to school tomorrow. She wanted to speak to difficult child- he told her he was just tired and couldn't wake up. She went off on me again about all I better do to meet her orders. She said if he went to school, I could get to work. I said yeah, but I couldn't work full time and that I had been doing that for 18 mos but now I was in so deep that this would not solve the problem. Really, who is the one not listening to who here. I told her it appeared my choices are what to go to jail for- not putting food on table, being in contempt of court orders, being noncompliant. That was it because I coould not meet all the demands. She said well she's ordering this and when it goes to court, judge will find me noncompliant for not accepting it and complying. I said that's fine, the judge can decide whatever she wants. Put me in jail, put difficult child wherever you think they'll do a good job, she thought she knew what should be done and I scre**d up, so maybe she should raise him. She said she knew I loved my son but couldn't he got live with family while I got back on my feet. I said no - did she not remember this discussion when I testified last Jan and even judge doesn't want me letting them have unsupervised contact now. She said if I signed over custody then difficult child would be placed with family not in foster care. I said well, what did she want me to do, shoot my f'ing self- I simply cannot meet difficult child's needs right now. She said she wanted me to quit cursing her. She said she would try to get in home from someone other than this county so they had more services available. I said then that is different but behavior mod alone will not solve all these problems. She said it would be part of whatever we get. She said she was going to set it up and I could choose to either comply or not but this is what they do to start the process. I said something about being a day late and a dollar short since I'd asked for that 3 years ago. Then it went back and forth some more and she hung up. I remember telling judge when I testified last year that these people will threaten to send difficult child to an abusive family just to try to get me to do whatever they wanted me to do. But if they did that, then they should be held accountable for putting my son at risk the same way I would be held accountable if I put him somewhere with someone known or suspected of being an abuser. That's when the judge started asking me questions to make sure I was keeping difficult child safe from them (my family). So if they are stupid enough to send my son there to get back at me somewhere, they deserve to be locked up.