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Just spoke with-PO's super!!
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 239856" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>"they seem to want to focus everything on the family if the person is under 21. Don't they think people under 21 have mental illness that isn't the family's fault? "</p><p></p><p>klmo, I don't want to minimize your concerns or hurt your feelings, but if I may be so bold, I think you are a bit overly sensitive to this issue. Just because they focus on the family doesn't mean they think it's the family's "fault." I think it's crucial that therapists focus on the entire family when treating a difficult child under 18. The family dynamic can sometimes make or break a difficult child's progress. Although nothing was my "fault," I had to learn new ways of dealing with my difficult children and their cycles, they had to learn ways of dealing with me and my reactions. It's all related. That doesn't mean that one-on-one therapy with the difficult child is any less essential, but that by itself, without pulling the family into it and making sure everyone is on the same page, isn't going to do much good. I think it's more important for people under 21 because they are all living at home and being supported by their families; that's why there's more focus on it than there is with adults.</p><p></p><p>Try to let that one go. Give this a chance, and try not to overanalyze (as all we parents of difficult child's are prone to do!) Wait until you've actually talked to these people, and digested what they've offered you, before deciding if it will or will not work for you and difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 239856, member: 1157"] "they seem to want to focus everything on the family if the person is under 21. Don't they think people under 21 have mental illness that isn't the family's fault? " klmo, I don't want to minimize your concerns or hurt your feelings, but if I may be so bold, I think you are a bit overly sensitive to this issue. Just because they focus on the family doesn't mean they think it's the family's "fault." I think it's crucial that therapists focus on the entire family when treating a difficult child under 18. The family dynamic can sometimes make or break a difficult child's progress. Although nothing was my "fault," I had to learn new ways of dealing with my difficult children and their cycles, they had to learn ways of dealing with me and my reactions. It's all related. That doesn't mean that one-on-one therapy with the difficult child is any less essential, but that by itself, without pulling the family into it and making sure everyone is on the same page, isn't going to do much good. I think it's more important for people under 21 because they are all living at home and being supported by their families; that's why there's more focus on it than there is with adults. Try to let that one go. Give this a chance, and try not to overanalyze (as all we parents of difficult child's are prone to do!) Wait until you've actually talked to these people, and digested what they've offered you, before deciding if it will or will not work for you and difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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