Just stopping in...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Coookie, Apr 22, 2007.

  1. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Hello my friends...

    Just stopping in to say hello and let you all know that I think of you often. My part time job is now full time, and along with the Mystery Shopping and Background checks I am very busy. :smile:

    Have not talked to difficult child for a month but word has it that he is drinking and using drugs frequently now. Very apparent he wants nothing to do with us but there is nothing we can do about it so husband and I are muddling along as best we can. :rolleyes:

    I still haven't been down to clean his room yet but am feeling emotionally stronger each day so probably next week, on my day off, I will tackle the disaster formerly known as difficult children room. :sad:

    husband and I are mending but this time is hard for us as a year ago we were making plans to attend difficult children graduation from bootcamp. That is a day I will treasure in my heart forever. I had never been so proud of him. :crying:

    Overall, we are ok though. :flower:

    Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers and continuing with hope for all our difficult children.

    Hugs & love
  2. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member


    Thank you for the update. I'm sorry to learn of difficult children situation. I can imagine this must be a painful time especially when remembering what was going on a year ago.

    I'm glad you and husband are hanging in there.

  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey Cookie...have been thinking about you so much lately. So sorry that C continues his downward spiral. Sometimes they have to hit bottom before they figure out its not where they want to be. Hopefully he will figure that out soon.
  4. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    I didn't know that difficult child was out of the house. I thought last I read he was still at home not trying to get a job.
    Where is he staying?

    So sorry the military didn't work out. I hope this time on his own will eventually make him mature and realize that he can't live this way forever.

    Sounds like your new career is taking off. That is good, will help you heal and keep you busy. :bravo:

  5. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I'm so sorry. I hope yours wises up before he faces what my difficult child is now facing. It is so hard when you know what they could be and watch them destroy themselves.
  6. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    Cookie, thanks for checking in, I often look for you when I sign in and miss you when I dont find you. I hope difficult child finds his way and grows up soon, he is very lucky to have parents like you and husband.

  7. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    <span style='font-family: Comic Sans MS'>Thanks for the update. Glad to hear you are keeping busy and difficult child is out of your home. Hoping maturity will appear for him. Take care of yourself and we are thinking of you.....</span>

  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    It's good to see you, Robby. :flower:

    Cleaning Rob's room was very therapeutic for me. I worked out a lot of frustration as I tossed and organized. I hope it will end up being the same for you with C's room.

  9. skeeter

    skeeter New Member

    Coookie - good to see you, even if the update isn't all that good. Keep on taking care of yourself and husband.
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Glad to read an update as I've been thinking of you. Have to forewarn you, my room cleaning experience (which you may recall)
    was tough. I thought I might drown in my own tears after easy child/difficult child
    decided to move in with GFGmom five years ago. on the other hand, once the room looked like "a" room instead of "his" room, it was easier
    getting along in the house. Glad you guys are bouncing back.

    Sending hugs. DDD
  11. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It's good to see you, Robby. Don't be such a stranger.

  12. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good to see you, Robby!

    At least difficult child is not flinging personal attacks at you today. We have to still appreciate small things.

    I hope he figures out soon what he is missing in his life.

  13. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Coookie, it is SOOOOO good to hear from you. Thank you for popping in to say hello.

    I'm happy for you about your work, although it sounds very tiring, but I suppose the best thing is to fill your life with as much as you can, in order to keep your mind off difficult child as much as possible.

    Stay well, and stay in touch, just a little bit.

    Love, Esther
  14. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    So glad to hear from you Coookie. I know it's been rough. It is very important that you and husband do things together and work on things together.

    That being said, cleaning difficult child's room may not be one of them though. I'll tell you what I did. I got a bunch of those easy to pick up stackable containers from Home Depot or Lowes and sorted clothes and stuff and put it in the garage.

    Once the room is cleaned out (I basically moved it from the room to the garage) then you can redecorate the room with husband. I reconfigure the storage containers as I need or if difficult child needs something. I've gotten rid of lots of stuff and neither of my difficult child's rooms are "their's" now. They've both been redecorated and cleaned up.

    It is a good feeling. And we all know how we need good feelings. :smile:
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    It's good to see you here Robby. Thanks for updating. I've been wondering how you were doing of late.

  16. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sooooo, my friend - about golf season?????? Hmmmmm?

    Glad you checked in - it's good to "see" you!
  17. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    <span style='font-size: 11pt'>Hi Cook, glad to hear your career is going strong. Sorry about difficult child. Don't you want to shake him and say "how could you do this to me?" I know they aren't doing it to us but to themselves but we are also in the fallout zone of their self destruction. You take care. I know the hurt doesn't go away but hopefully it will be less painful with time. Hugs. </span>
  18. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Hi Cookie! Thanks for checking in. :kisses:
    We've all been wondering how you are doing. Glad to see you're busy I know what you mean about remembering graduation. (((HUGS))) If I had a nickle for every time I thought, "Last year at this time...."

  19. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Good to see you!!

    When you clean difficult child's room, don't just stop at cleaning. I found repainting, carpeting and making difficult child's room new and different makes it so much easier to look at. I can keep the memories of when he was a baby and all the years he grew up in that room in the back of my mind and in my heart, but seeing it all the time as he left it at a bad time in his life wasn't good for me. When I look in there now I can reflect on much better memories without having to sift through the dirt.

    I'm glad you can still look back on last year and how proud you were. Don't ever let go of those nice memories.
  20. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    Hi! :smile:

    It will get easier as time passes, Robbie.

    I am sorry difficult child picked this path. But, if this is the way he was determined to go, at least he is no longer doing it from your house.

    Cleaning difficult child's old room was hard for me, everytime. We hold so many dreams for them, sacrifice time and effort and money and privacy and when it doesn't work out, cleaning that room again puts that final stamp on the failure.

    It is therapeutic though, in that it names the current situation for us and steers us toward a different dream.

    Wishing you well, Robbie ~ and your husband, too.