Just talked to the PO
- Thread starter PatriotsGirl
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PatriotsGirl
Well-Known Member
I told difficult child that, too. I told her that she could take her sweet time and leave difficult child sitting there but that she wasn't and she was really trying to get her a good program. I told her she owes the PO a huge thank you.
PO said she will try her best to send in the paperwork in today, if not, first thing in the morning and then there will be a phone interview. From there they will say whether she has been accepted or not (I can't see any reason why she wouldn't - her attitude seems very willing to get help). PO said she has her fingers crossed that difficult child will be in rehab by Friday.
PO said she will try her best to send in the paperwork in today, if not, first thing in the morning and then there will be a phone interview. From there they will say whether she has been accepted or not (I can't see any reason why she wouldn't - her attitude seems very willing to get help). PO said she has her fingers crossed that difficult child will be in rehab by Friday.
2much2recover
Well-Known Member
stressedmama
Active Member
WOOHOO!!!!
PatriotsGirl
Well-Known Member
Just got off the phone with difficult child again. She is really excited about the program. She says she knows that she cannot do this on her own and this is not the life she wants. She is concerned about the cost (it is a sliding scale based on income but can range from 500 - 1500 a month). I told her we are not seekig child support so she should have no problem giving them almost her whole paycheck each week once she gets a job. I asked her what being a mother to her child was worth to her and she said it was priceless. (Goodness, old habits, I almost said well maybe your grandparents could gift the payment of the program to you, but stopped myself quickly thinking she SHOULD pay for it. It is HER recovery and SHE should be the one invested in that). They teach budgeting at the program, so they will work all that out with her. Not my monkey. Not my circus.
She mentioned that she would finish the program around her birthday but we also talked about living on the property after the program and she agreed that would be best, at least for a while.
She is back on her prozac in jail. Not sure how she did it, but she did - on her own.
For the first 30 days she cannot have contact with anyone. She will earn her way to certain levels of priviledges - one of them being an overnight visit with her child. I have made the decision that if she is truly working the program and has earned that right, I will support it. I would feel safe with him being there with her. They are very much supervised there. I would also support reunification if she works the program for the year and has earned it. After all, that would be what we all pray for. BUT, as far as that child is concerned, this is her last shot. I told her I wanted to be very clear of my intentions regarding Connor - that if she doesn't work the program and walks away, I will file for adoption and she can stay away for good. She said that she completely understood.
She has not had her phone interview yet but that could happen any time now. I am trying SO hard NOT to be optimistic about any of this. Been there, done that and got kicked in the knees, you know?
She mentioned that she would finish the program around her birthday but we also talked about living on the property after the program and she agreed that would be best, at least for a while.
She is back on her prozac in jail. Not sure how she did it, but she did - on her own.
For the first 30 days she cannot have contact with anyone. She will earn her way to certain levels of priviledges - one of them being an overnight visit with her child. I have made the decision that if she is truly working the program and has earned that right, I will support it. I would feel safe with him being there with her. They are very much supervised there. I would also support reunification if she works the program for the year and has earned it. After all, that would be what we all pray for. BUT, as far as that child is concerned, this is her last shot. I told her I wanted to be very clear of my intentions regarding Connor - that if she doesn't work the program and walks away, I will file for adoption and she can stay away for good. She said that she completely understood.
She has not had her phone interview yet but that could happen any time now. I am trying SO hard NOT to be optimistic about any of this. Been there, done that and got kicked in the knees, you know?
2much2recover
Well-Known Member
I am glad you did not mention the grandparents pay as you say it is a 12 month program that would be at minimum $6000.00 and up $18,000.00 - that's a lot to ask someone else to pay on her behalf.
PatriotsGirl
Well-Known Member
Man alive...so treatment center calls me for background on difficult child. She says someone has to pay something for her until she can work. Well, we can't and won't do that. I felt so disheartened. Deflated.
Then she asked if difficult child had a car and I said, yes, but it is parked in my yard and was taken off the road. She asked if difficult child would be willing to donate the car for payment - um yes!!! So she said that would help. They only have 4 indigent beds and 13 indigent patients so it is not likely they will take another but they said it was a cse by case basis and it doesn't mean no. She said they still have to do the phone interview and bring it before the board.
So I called PO and updated her who is thoroughly confused because she said she was very clear to them about the situation and that there was no money. She said the lady said that was no problem - that they had 4 beds open.
So I don't know what it going on. The lady at the program said if they did turn difficult child down that they would help find a place somewhere else for her. But this one looked really good. Ugh...
PO is going to call the place back and see what is going on...
Then she asked if difficult child had a car and I said, yes, but it is parked in my yard and was taken off the road. She asked if difficult child would be willing to donate the car for payment - um yes!!! So she said that would help. They only have 4 indigent beds and 13 indigent patients so it is not likely they will take another but they said it was a cse by case basis and it doesn't mean no. She said they still have to do the phone interview and bring it before the board.
So I called PO and updated her who is thoroughly confused because she said she was very clear to them about the situation and that there was no money. She said the lady said that was no problem - that they had 4 beds open.
So I don't know what it going on. The lady at the program said if they did turn difficult child down that they would help find a place somewhere else for her. But this one looked really good. Ugh...
PO is going to call the place back and see what is going on...
PatriotsGirl
Well-Known Member
She has been accepted and they want to get her in before Christmas. They are accepting her with the car as payment so we will be bringing it to the rehab on Friday...
PatriotsGirl
Well-Known Member
The rehab is picking her up from jail on Monday!!! Merry Christmas indeed!!
I told her PO that we needed to clone her everywhere because she is AMAZING....I love her!!
My husband is still not on board and was ticked because we bought the car and she never paid a dime on it. But to me, it is a hunk of junk outside and if it gets her into a great program (that is accredited!!) then it is worth it. He, of course, thinks she is going to end up messing up and not finishing it.
But, her head seems to be in the right place for treatment - her PO and the rehab program agree. I will support the good and walk away from the bad...hopefully she takes full advantage of this and comes out a new person.
I am back to gathering the things she needs to take with her. I will be loading it all into the car and driving it there on Monday...
I told her PO that we needed to clone her everywhere because she is AMAZING....I love her!!
My husband is still not on board and was ticked because we bought the car and she never paid a dime on it. But to me, it is a hunk of junk outside and if it gets her into a great program (that is accredited!!) then it is worth it. He, of course, thinks she is going to end up messing up and not finishing it.
But, her head seems to be in the right place for treatment - her PO and the rehab program agree. I will support the good and walk away from the bad...hopefully she takes full advantage of this and comes out a new person.
I am back to gathering the things she needs to take with her. I will be loading it all into the car and driving it there on Monday...
stressedmama
Active Member
That's great news!! Sending happy thoughts your way!
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Remember that relapsing is often part of healing. You daughter is far from a hopeless case, although she didn't do it this time. She did try and she was clean for a while. Maybe this time will be the charm. I am so happy for you and hope you can relax and know she is in good hands and have a wonderful holiday, doting on that adorable little grandson of yours!
Lucedaleblessed
Active Member
Did the PO find out why they asked for payment when the PO had told them in advance that she hadn't any money?
PatriotsGirl
Well-Known Member
No, I found that the lady that I talked to was not the director that PO talked to. The lady I talked to was dreading going in front of the board with another case of indigence and to be honest, I don't mind donating the car at all. It gets it out of my yard and it helped get her in. 
Win win. The car's worth should give her a about four months worth of payment and from there she will have to pay them once she is working. It is a sliding scale and she has zero income so I would think her fee will be 500 per month, which is amazing considering she would pay that and then some for just rent/utilities anywhere else.
The car is packed up with everything she needs - I will bring it Monday morning.
MWM - you are right, she was clean for a while and wants to be again. She doesn't want to use. She wants to learn how not to use. I think she is in the right place to really get a lot out of this. She really wants sobriety...
Win win. The car's worth should give her a about four months worth of payment and from there she will have to pay them once she is working. It is a sliding scale and she has zero income so I would think her fee will be 500 per month, which is amazing considering she would pay that and then some for just rent/utilities anywhere else.The car is packed up with everything she needs - I will bring it Monday morning.
MWM - you are right, she was clean for a while and wants to be again. She doesn't want to use. She wants to learn how not to use. I think she is in the right place to really get a lot out of this. She really wants sobriety...
2much2recover
Well-Known Member
Time will tell and you are wise to understand this. Everyone wants to be clean when they are sitting n a jail cell.
