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Just told difficult child she is not welcome back home. Am I wrong?
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<blockquote data-quote="Loony Smurf" data-source="post: 633154" data-attributes="member: 1695"><p>Hey there.</p><p></p><p>Like you, I just told my oldest son that he has 30 days to move out. I'm recently remarried, and this son in particular does whatever he feels like pretty much. We had a rental agreement (which he didn't live up to) and he has consistenly bailed on every family event for the last 6 months...except his borthday of course...during which he told me he wouldn't be here for mine...cause we don't celebrate birthdays so it doesn't matter anyway. Well, I told him if you aren't going to be around for mine, then you can move out. He took off that day, I printed up the notice the next. The morning after, he packed all his things. I honestly don't know if he can make it or not. He may end u having to move back, but it won't be without a written contract, and agreed on rules and dates for rent to be paid and a behavior contract. My next son is 19 and I'm pretty sure has high functioning autism...but i've told him either get into some sort of therapy or get a job...by the end of the month.</p><p></p><p>At some point they have to be set loose to see if they can or not. My 19 yr old will need significant help to get settled into anything and learn to be functional. My 19 yr old...well his issue is mostly laziness and attitude. I'm hoping being forced to do things on his own will at least make him grow up a little.</p><p></p><p>Besides...they ARE adults now. I (AND YOU) should definitely be allowed to move past being their parents to being our own person with a spouse we want to settle with and not have constant problems in the house by someone who is not required by law to be there. You have every right, and I say good for you. maybe...eventually...after she gets herself straight...you can start reconnecting a bit, but for now I'd say keep some distance and see what happens.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Loony Smurf, post: 633154, member: 1695"] Hey there. Like you, I just told my oldest son that he has 30 days to move out. I'm recently remarried, and this son in particular does whatever he feels like pretty much. We had a rental agreement (which he didn't live up to) and he has consistenly bailed on every family event for the last 6 months...except his borthday of course...during which he told me he wouldn't be here for mine...cause we don't celebrate birthdays so it doesn't matter anyway. Well, I told him if you aren't going to be around for mine, then you can move out. He took off that day, I printed up the notice the next. The morning after, he packed all his things. I honestly don't know if he can make it or not. He may end u having to move back, but it won't be without a written contract, and agreed on rules and dates for rent to be paid and a behavior contract. My next son is 19 and I'm pretty sure has high functioning autism...but i've told him either get into some sort of therapy or get a job...by the end of the month. At some point they have to be set loose to see if they can or not. My 19 yr old will need significant help to get settled into anything and learn to be functional. My 19 yr old...well his issue is mostly laziness and attitude. I'm hoping being forced to do things on his own will at least make him grow up a little. Besides...they ARE adults now. I (AND YOU) should definitely be allowed to move past being their parents to being our own person with a spouse we want to settle with and not have constant problems in the house by someone who is not required by law to be there. You have every right, and I say good for you. maybe...eventually...after she gets herself straight...you can start reconnecting a bit, but for now I'd say keep some distance and see what happens. [/QUOTE]
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Just told difficult child she is not welcome back home. Am I wrong?
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