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<blockquote data-quote="Bennieb" data-source="post: 635094" data-attributes="member: 14380"><p>Oh Bluebell, I wish I didn't have the slightest clue what you are going through, but unfortunately I do.</p><p>I hope and pray for you and your family that he has maybe started to realize that it is time to grow up and get his life sorted out. However, I have experienced these same lulls in behavior. Now, I have had 2 different outcomes, one of my difficult child's finally did, on his own accord, completely change his behavior, over a few months time. But, his twin, has gone back and forth a lot over the years, he would seem to be on a better path, only to digress, and get to the point where he was much worse off, than before the good period. So, as you see, it really can go either way. My only advice is, that if he is truly trying to move forward in a new way, support him.</p><p>My son who has improved immensely, has told me that one of the hardest things for him, was getting out of the shadow of all the bad things that he had done. That, whenever we treated him in the same manner that he had been treated when he was in his worst period, it made him want to give up, because if him changing wasn't going to make things better between us, than maybe it wasn't really worth it in the end.</p><p>The thing is, it's soooooo hard to differentiate between what is real, and what is manipulation sometimes.</p><p>I have my fingers crossed for you all, that he has finally seen the error of his ways.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bennieb, post: 635094, member: 14380"] Oh Bluebell, I wish I didn't have the slightest clue what you are going through, but unfortunately I do. I hope and pray for you and your family that he has maybe started to realize that it is time to grow up and get his life sorted out. However, I have experienced these same lulls in behavior. Now, I have had 2 different outcomes, one of my difficult child's finally did, on his own accord, completely change his behavior, over a few months time. But, his twin, has gone back and forth a lot over the years, he would seem to be on a better path, only to digress, and get to the point where he was much worse off, than before the good period. So, as you see, it really can go either way. My only advice is, that if he is truly trying to move forward in a new way, support him. My son who has improved immensely, has told me that one of the hardest things for him, was getting out of the shadow of all the bad things that he had done. That, whenever we treated him in the same manner that he had been treated when he was in his worst period, it made him want to give up, because if him changing wasn't going to make things better between us, than maybe it wasn't really worth it in the end. The thing is, it's soooooo hard to differentiate between what is real, and what is manipulation sometimes. I have my fingers crossed for you all, that he has finally seen the error of his ways. [/QUOTE]
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