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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 538648" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Janet I remember that post about Mikey and it threw up red flags for me too. Unfortunately in his case, you've got it also complicated by the fact that his Mom stinks as a parent on top of it. And I think Billie will never admit there is a problem because she knows she's not doing right by either kid parenting wise. Know what I mean?? </p><p></p><p>IC, I know that. But the difference between catching them young and having the same therapies as an older child is astounding. Travis was 15 before I found a doctor that would openly admit the relationship of decreased heart rate during labor and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). It wasn't just that neuro, I've found a few more really good ones who will also admit it. But you have to know how to ask. AND you have to keep in mind that for ages cerebral palsy was believed to be genetic as it tending to appear to run in families. Well, it sort of does......but that is usually because the mom or female relatives will have the same body build to make passage through the birth canal difficult. It's why my girls OB induced labor before their due dates to keep the babies small. (my girls are no bigger than me and we're all under 5 feet) Connor was her largest baby at 8 lbs. Travis was also 8 lbs. (Connor was measured smaller on the US) But as of oh I dunno, about 10-15 yrs ago, they've come to realize that cerebral palsy (even very mild forms) is not genetic, it's caused by traumatic birth injury, as in decreased O2 levels during labor and delivery. Which stands to reason why I didn't really hear anything about it until Travis was much older.</p><p></p><p>Our preschools don't screen for squat. </p><p></p><p>And Jo, yes.........some of it is easy child's issue with the need to be "perfect". It's an unconscious need driven by the way her brother was. Even that I can understand. It's very hard and very complicated growing up with a special needs/disabled sibling with Travis' issues. Most likely there is some Mom guilt going on there too, because it's just what we Mom's do when there is something wrong with our kid.......and low O2 wasn't the only thing going on with Connor. His was the pregnancy easy child had so many heart issues with that she had to take heart medications ect while preggers even though it wasn't good for Connor for her to do so. Could be that made matters worse. Then again, it might not have played a role at all. Impossible to tell at this point. But even that wasn't easy child's fault....I mean you can't give birth if you're not around to do so. sheesh. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do and let the chips fall. Doesn't make it her fault. </p><p></p><p>I'm pretty sure I've told her a few times to just get the MRI and prove me wrong. If it was wrong, I'd at least be relieved we weren't dealing with neuro issues on top of autism. But she'll say Oh, Mom you've seen autism in all my boys. Well, yeah, I have. Because both Darrin and Brandon have strong traits. I've watched them both for a long time, and IF with the remote chance they have it, it's extremely high functioning. But I've told her more than once they just have the traits. ALL the grandsons do. Even Oliver has started developing a trait or two. Not surprising with evidently it's a very strong gene in the gene pool on husband's side. Traits and having the disorder are not the same thing. And Connor is in the middle / lower range right now. Huge difference. </p><p></p><p>Just really upsets me we can't have a sit down objective discussion about Connor without her nose diving into denial mode. I only see Connor a few days a week. I'm certain there are lots of things she sees and experiences with him that I don't. I have experience from Travis to draw upon, which can/does avoid a lot of issues at the get go. So I'm betting I'm not seeing as much as she does, if she chose to be objective about it.</p><p></p><p>As for Aubrey, you'd never know she had an issue with development. Which is fantastic. She's not only caught up, she's passed her peers. But Nichole still watches for red flags, just in case another issue crops up as she ages and school gets harder and deals with more complicated concepts. Aubrey may never have anymore issues that throw up red flags or cause her problems. But that doesn't mean that the pediatrician doctor didn't drop the ball in a huge way in her case. It just means she was a lucky kid that whatever was causing her issues was not a serious neuro problem. We're still watching her for dyslexia too. Which is complicated because Nichole's is so severe she gets her opposites mixed up, which makes it difficult to teach your kid their opposites correctly even when you're trying hard to do so. Aubrey mixes hers up too like her mom, but due to her reading so well......I think it's because her mom says them all backward, and not dyslexia.</p><p></p><p>It's just weird that I can have sound objective discussions with my difficult child daughter about such things, but the easy child daughter with the medical training is the one in denial.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sigh.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sigh:" title="sigh :sigh:" data-shortname=":sigh:" /> You'd think it would be the other way around.</p><p></p><p>It did help to open up here and just let it pour out. And I'll keep right on helping Connor as much as I can, because much of what I do is automatic.......so ingrained in me now I just do it without a whole lot of thought and adjust it to fit a child's needs. I do some with Brandon for different reasons, as he's lagging a bit for different reasons.....but he's catching up pretty darn quickly now. His main issue is being the middle child, can't decide if he wants to be big like darrin or a baby like Connor. Hmm. I need to stop referring to Connor as a baby. Someone who will be 2 in 2 months is not a baby. </p><p></p><p>I just hope easy child wakes up soon. By the time Travis' issues were caught, they were basically set in stone. We tried Occupational Therapist (OT) and PT for areas I didn't have a clue how to help, and neither worked. They remain issues. Maybe they would have even if it had been caught early.......but we'll never know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 538648, member: 84"] Janet I remember that post about Mikey and it threw up red flags for me too. Unfortunately in his case, you've got it also complicated by the fact that his Mom stinks as a parent on top of it. And I think Billie will never admit there is a problem because she knows she's not doing right by either kid parenting wise. Know what I mean?? IC, I know that. But the difference between catching them young and having the same therapies as an older child is astounding. Travis was 15 before I found a doctor that would openly admit the relationship of decreased heart rate during labor and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). It wasn't just that neuro, I've found a few more really good ones who will also admit it. But you have to know how to ask. AND you have to keep in mind that for ages cerebral palsy was believed to be genetic as it tending to appear to run in families. Well, it sort of does......but that is usually because the mom or female relatives will have the same body build to make passage through the birth canal difficult. It's why my girls OB induced labor before their due dates to keep the babies small. (my girls are no bigger than me and we're all under 5 feet) Connor was her largest baby at 8 lbs. Travis was also 8 lbs. (Connor was measured smaller on the US) But as of oh I dunno, about 10-15 yrs ago, they've come to realize that cerebral palsy (even very mild forms) is not genetic, it's caused by traumatic birth injury, as in decreased O2 levels during labor and delivery. Which stands to reason why I didn't really hear anything about it until Travis was much older. Our preschools don't screen for squat. And Jo, yes.........some of it is easy child's issue with the need to be "perfect". It's an unconscious need driven by the way her brother was. Even that I can understand. It's very hard and very complicated growing up with a special needs/disabled sibling with Travis' issues. Most likely there is some Mom guilt going on there too, because it's just what we Mom's do when there is something wrong with our kid.......and low O2 wasn't the only thing going on with Connor. His was the pregnancy easy child had so many heart issues with that she had to take heart medications ect while preggers even though it wasn't good for Connor for her to do so. Could be that made matters worse. Then again, it might not have played a role at all. Impossible to tell at this point. But even that wasn't easy child's fault....I mean you can't give birth if you're not around to do so. sheesh. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do and let the chips fall. Doesn't make it her fault. I'm pretty sure I've told her a few times to just get the MRI and prove me wrong. If it was wrong, I'd at least be relieved we weren't dealing with neuro issues on top of autism. But she'll say Oh, Mom you've seen autism in all my boys. Well, yeah, I have. Because both Darrin and Brandon have strong traits. I've watched them both for a long time, and IF with the remote chance they have it, it's extremely high functioning. But I've told her more than once they just have the traits. ALL the grandsons do. Even Oliver has started developing a trait or two. Not surprising with evidently it's a very strong gene in the gene pool on husband's side. Traits and having the disorder are not the same thing. And Connor is in the middle / lower range right now. Huge difference. Just really upsets me we can't have a sit down objective discussion about Connor without her nose diving into denial mode. I only see Connor a few days a week. I'm certain there are lots of things she sees and experiences with him that I don't. I have experience from Travis to draw upon, which can/does avoid a lot of issues at the get go. So I'm betting I'm not seeing as much as she does, if she chose to be objective about it. As for Aubrey, you'd never know she had an issue with development. Which is fantastic. She's not only caught up, she's passed her peers. But Nichole still watches for red flags, just in case another issue crops up as she ages and school gets harder and deals with more complicated concepts. Aubrey may never have anymore issues that throw up red flags or cause her problems. But that doesn't mean that the pediatrician doctor didn't drop the ball in a huge way in her case. It just means she was a lucky kid that whatever was causing her issues was not a serious neuro problem. We're still watching her for dyslexia too. Which is complicated because Nichole's is so severe she gets her opposites mixed up, which makes it difficult to teach your kid their opposites correctly even when you're trying hard to do so. Aubrey mixes hers up too like her mom, but due to her reading so well......I think it's because her mom says them all backward, and not dyslexia. It's just weird that I can have sound objective discussions with my difficult child daughter about such things, but the easy child daughter with the medical training is the one in denial.:sigh: You'd think it would be the other way around. It did help to open up here and just let it pour out. And I'll keep right on helping Connor as much as I can, because much of what I do is automatic.......so ingrained in me now I just do it without a whole lot of thought and adjust it to fit a child's needs. I do some with Brandon for different reasons, as he's lagging a bit for different reasons.....but he's catching up pretty darn quickly now. His main issue is being the middle child, can't decide if he wants to be big like darrin or a baby like Connor. Hmm. I need to stop referring to Connor as a baby. Someone who will be 2 in 2 months is not a baby. I just hope easy child wakes up soon. By the time Travis' issues were caught, they were basically set in stone. We tried Occupational Therapist (OT) and PT for areas I didn't have a clue how to help, and neither worked. They remain issues. Maybe they would have even if it had been caught early.......but we'll never know. [/QUOTE]
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