DF had an interesting thought about this post (I shared JJJ's post title with) and asked if he remembered many other parents coming like we did. He said no. He also remembered us being a hindrance to the staff of most of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s we went to, and often felt like we weren't really there for the "team" effort they so often portrayed when we toured their facilities.
He did say however that most time by the time a child reaches an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) it's the last stop for most parents, and a lot of the parents of difficult child's are single parents, worn out, tired and beyond the end of their rope. So by the time a child reaches an Residential Treatment Center (RTC)? Their done, jaded by the system, and haven't had many if any good experiences and any support so he could see how it wouldn't be too hard to be so depressed that they maybe couldn't come to see their kids. Also I guess we forget that a lot of the times in our state; for what reason we'll never know - but in SC they do a lot of moving the kids across several counties when there are so many Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s and group homes right in OUR counties where parents COULD work with kids down the road. It was so moronic to us to make us find the gas money to drive to Augusta GA, every week when we had the perfect placement right across town, and it was about the ONLY one that ever worked.
I had forgotten about that - but it's true. I guess it's easy to judge others when we don't know the circumstances totally - and I'm not really - You like me would do anything for our kids, but we have each other, and a great support system that holds us up. Lots of others have no one, and it wouldn't be too hard to understand how you could get SO depressed at the point of Residential Treatment Center (RTC) that you would feel like such a failure as a parent that you'd just want to give up. I know for a fact that any Residential Treatment Center (RTC) we were at NEVER offered us any hope or help - as to "you know of course you aren't a failure as a parent - I'm not sure if that was because we had a personna of strength (which believe me we were falling apart sometimes too) or just because they didn't care? I'm guessing the latte r- because most of them didn't. I remember showing up to see Dude one time, and the counselor - literally seeing me - and running TO HER CAR - to avoid letting me in the door. Without her signature? I couldn't get in. Ridiculous.
I don't know - JJJ - But you're right - lots of parents do give up at this point that's for sure. Kanga is lucky you're her Mom. Someday she'll figure it out. Someday.
Hugs
