Just want to give up today...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jillangel1382, Jul 24, 2014.

  1. Jillangel1382

    Jillangel1382 New Member

    Well I am new here. I need help with my child I'm not sure who to talk to... My daughter was diagnosed last year with ODD, Asperger syndrome, and anxiety. I understand her disability. I don't understand how to get her to stop abusing me.
    Sas gets so angry some days and attacks me tells me she hates me and I don't know what to do anymore. Everyone tells me to give up on her put her in a hospital but I can't just do that there must be something I can do. but today I feel hopeless.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    How old is she? What type of help is she getting and did she get when she was young? Are you positive her diagnosis is correct? Who diagnosed her?
  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    welcome to the site.

    My first suggestion would be to speak with her diagnosing doctor and find some support. There are books, websites, local support groups, etc., that can give you ideas, advice, and support. It's always helpful to know we are not alone!

    Many of us have been in your place. Give us a little more information in way of a signature so that we can get a better idea about you and your daughter (her age, when she was diagnosis'd, any medications, etc.).

    Hang in there, one minute at a time is our motto!

  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome Jilangel,
    I'm sorry things are so rough right now. I have so been in your place; it's what brought me here. Please know that you will find much support here; this place has been a lifesaver for me.
  5. catbee

    catbee New Member

    It can be difficult trying to differentiate where some of the behavior is coming from, especially if there are other mental and/or physical problems who's symptoms overlap. Is her anxiety being treated and if so, has she outgrown it's efficiacy? I'm new on this site as well and I just completed another conflict marathon with- our (newly) 18 yr old daughter....I have many days where I just WANT to stick my fingers in my ears and loudly say "lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!!!" or hop into my car and drive until I run out of gas! YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE!
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there. Some questions: How old is she? There is a big difference between a ten year old and an adult child.

    We have a forum for adult children eighteen and over called Parent Emeritus. When a child is young, no matter how they behave, we try to help them in various ways, but we'd need more information. When the child grows up and becomes eighteen and legally an adult, it is not healthy for us or for our struggling adult child to allow that person to abuse us. No matter what the reason, abuse should not be tolerated by a legal adult. At least, not in the opinion of most of us on Parent Emeritus. We have all been through a lot on that forum.

    Jillangel, can you give us some background on your daughter? She sounds like she is still a minor. Who is everyone who tells you to put her into a hospital? Is she dangerous to you or her siblings or animals?
  7. LoonyAlana

    LoonyAlana Member

    I can sympathize. Mother of a high funcitoning autistic, ODD, severe ADHD with sensory issues 6 year old son. Just in the last few days he tried to stab me with a broken piece of cultery he was using as a shiv. I want to tell you it gets better, but I'm still waiting for a miracle myself. He was even suspended from Kindergarten for several days because he head-butted the assistant principal. The primary reason for a 'hospital' is to get a diagnosis, but if you already have a diagnosis... then it seems silly that people would still keep suggesting that. Although, I've been on the receiving end of those suggestions myself. Having not one, not two, but three medical professionals recommend that I call 911 on my son... despite all the suggestions to that end, my husband is against that path and I am VERY reluctant. I feel your pain, but have no way to soothe it other than to tell you, "You are not alone."

    Vent away, as far as I'm concerned.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have to respectfully disagree LoonyAlana; The primary reason for a hospital is not to get a diagnosis. My son had his diagnosis before he was ever hospitalized. Over the years he has been hospitalized 6 times. Each time was due to violence where it was too dangerous for him to be in the home. Each time they worked on finding a medication combination that might work (the last one they got it right:)). At the hospital they can do medication changes in a safer and faster manner than you could do at home.
  9. LoonyAlana

    LoonyAlana Member

    OK, I see your point, but I was repeating what I was told previously (it's all I have experience with.) Psychologists, Social Workers, and CPS all recommended hospitalization before my son was diagnosed. They recommended it for the sole reason of getting him diagnosed. That was why they pressured us so much, was because he didn't have a diagnosis yet. Now that he's been diagnosed as being on the spectrum, our psychiatrist advised that there is not much that can be prescribed to 'fix' him because of the mix of issues he has. Medication that helps ADHD will aggrevate his ODD. And then autism throws a whole new level of problems that medication generally just won't fix.

    I was just relaying my small little narrow slice of life and my experiences. But since they obviously are no help and incorrect, I'll just not bother to share anymore. Thanks for pointing out how incorrect I am, and making sure I know it.
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Please don't take my post to mean that what you said wasn't your reality. I was sharing my reality not saying that yours wasn't correct. I am sorry if I came across as rude because that was not how I meant it to be at all. I know things are very different with autism vs. bipolar. I also know about ODD medications aggravating ADHD! Ugh; we dealt with the same thing here.

    Again I apologize because my intent was not to offend.