hearts and roses
Mind Reader
I learned today that FOR MONTHS my sister, with whom my mother lives, has been using mom's bank account as her own and has been gambling the little bits she receives each month at the casino.
We're in this hideous stagnant time warp of trying to get my mom into a nice nursing home and this sister in PA (M) has been stalling every step of the way. We deduced that she felt bad that her friend would lose her job caring for my mom (caring being used very loosely) so she's deliberately placed obstacles in the way of getting my mom into a home by failing to provide or completely paperwork, bank statements, etc.
Well, as power of attorney over my mom's financial affairs, I went over my sister's head (thought we could trust her to do the right thing) and had the bank provide to me copies of the last 3 month's statements. Imagine my horror at seeing hundreds of dollars each month being withdrawn from the ATM at the casino!!! OMG.
My sister has consistently complained that having my mom live with her is a huge financial drain...together she and her H make PLENTY of money to not only take care of themselves, but mom, which mom could financially care for herself, especially considering that me and my 4 siblings were all sending M $125/month to help with added expenses, such as the care provider. M consistently has been in arrears on her mortgage...almost lost her house last summer.
Now, imagine my horror when I realized that I have been duped by M, all of us have been, and while we're scraped together that money each month to help care for mom, M is pissing it away at the casino.
We have to submit the paperwork for Medicaid and they will most definitely request copies of mom's banking statements. Medicaid officials will see those illegal transactions and ask for an explanation. My local sister, T, doesn't want any legal issues to happen with sister M, which I understand (kind of), but at a point, I believe that the illegal transactions on my mom's account will come back to M and she may face legal action...and maybe even me, since I am the financial POA of my mom's estate.
My sister M is an alcoholic and apparently also has a major gambling problem - at this point I feel like pressing charges. I won't - yet - but my God. I am really nervous that this bank account and all my sister's stealing will cause a major delay in getting my mom Medicaid and into a good home. We were hoping she would be in a facility by now and now this!
Send up a good vibe please and if any one has any advice on where to go from here, please share it with me. I am feeling desperate right now.
We're in this hideous stagnant time warp of trying to get my mom into a nice nursing home and this sister in PA (M) has been stalling every step of the way. We deduced that she felt bad that her friend would lose her job caring for my mom (caring being used very loosely) so she's deliberately placed obstacles in the way of getting my mom into a home by failing to provide or completely paperwork, bank statements, etc.
Well, as power of attorney over my mom's financial affairs, I went over my sister's head (thought we could trust her to do the right thing) and had the bank provide to me copies of the last 3 month's statements. Imagine my horror at seeing hundreds of dollars each month being withdrawn from the ATM at the casino!!! OMG.
My sister has consistently complained that having my mom live with her is a huge financial drain...together she and her H make PLENTY of money to not only take care of themselves, but mom, which mom could financially care for herself, especially considering that me and my 4 siblings were all sending M $125/month to help with added expenses, such as the care provider. M consistently has been in arrears on her mortgage...almost lost her house last summer.
Now, imagine my horror when I realized that I have been duped by M, all of us have been, and while we're scraped together that money each month to help care for mom, M is pissing it away at the casino.
We have to submit the paperwork for Medicaid and they will most definitely request copies of mom's banking statements. Medicaid officials will see those illegal transactions and ask for an explanation. My local sister, T, doesn't want any legal issues to happen with sister M, which I understand (kind of), but at a point, I believe that the illegal transactions on my mom's account will come back to M and she may face legal action...and maybe even me, since I am the financial POA of my mom's estate.
My sister M is an alcoholic and apparently also has a major gambling problem - at this point I feel like pressing charges. I won't - yet - but my God. I am really nervous that this bank account and all my sister's stealing will cause a major delay in getting my mom Medicaid and into a good home. We were hoping she would be in a facility by now and now this!
Send up a good vibe please and if any one has any advice on where to go from here, please share it with me. I am feeling desperate right now.