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Just when I thought he was doing better, 17-year-old difficult child was arrested
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 638069" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You don't have to foot the bill. When my daughter was on parole (twice) and had numerous tickets she paid them out. They allow a payment plan, so to speak. We never contributed a dime to her (cough) mistakes. The only time she got a break was way after she had quit using drugs and had put her life back together. She had been in a car accident and had been sued by a lady and owed her something like $15,000. After about three or four years of her paying, while doing very well in life, her father, who I am divorced from, coughed up the rest to give her a well deserved break from her "bad ole" days.We both wanted her to get that cleared up, but only he had the money for it. in my opinion, she had earned it. Not easy to quit meth, pay for your own two year college class, go to college, buy your own house, stop being disrespectful, obey the law, etc...she had really been "out there" at one time.</p><p></p><p>She got no money from us when she was doing illegal stuff. Thus she had to get a job at Walmart part-time. Didn't hurt her a bit. She has quite a good work ethic and is an independent thirty year old young woman now. The key is not to try to enforce consequences...the key is to enforce consequences. Your son has an attitude and will get into trouble that you can't get him out of one day if he doesn't change his attitude now. You want to get him to comply? Use the car (it's very effective). You can tell him you won't take him out driving or sign off on his driving hours or let him take the test in your car or drive you car if he doesn't take care of these other fines on his own. Tough? These kids NEED tough. With his attitude, good driver or not, he's going to end up in an accident when he is on his own or with his buddies. At any rate, the car is a great motivator. I'm not telling you to do it, just that it will probably work after he throws his expected tantrum, which you can ignore by leaving the house or making him leave until he calms down.The alternative is he learns you'll pick up his dirty laundry, like you did for his brother.He will have no motivation to act smarter. That mouth has to get under control or he can end up in trouble just for mouthing off to the cops.</p><p></p><p>Hugs. I know it's hard. It's so very hard. But we have to be strong. What do you easy child daughters think about your sons? I'm curious because all of my other kids are fed up with my difficult child and none of them even want to see him. The girls both ask me why I even talk to him. They don't get angry at me, but they do roll their eyes when they know I'm on the phone with him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 638069, member: 1550"] You don't have to foot the bill. When my daughter was on parole (twice) and had numerous tickets she paid them out. They allow a payment plan, so to speak. We never contributed a dime to her (cough) mistakes. The only time she got a break was way after she had quit using drugs and had put her life back together. She had been in a car accident and had been sued by a lady and owed her something like $15,000. After about three or four years of her paying, while doing very well in life, her father, who I am divorced from, coughed up the rest to give her a well deserved break from her "bad ole" days.We both wanted her to get that cleared up, but only he had the money for it. in my opinion, she had earned it. Not easy to quit meth, pay for your own two year college class, go to college, buy your own house, stop being disrespectful, obey the law, etc...she had really been "out there" at one time. She got no money from us when she was doing illegal stuff. Thus she had to get a job at Walmart part-time. Didn't hurt her a bit. She has quite a good work ethic and is an independent thirty year old young woman now. The key is not to try to enforce consequences...the key is to enforce consequences. Your son has an attitude and will get into trouble that you can't get him out of one day if he doesn't change his attitude now. You want to get him to comply? Use the car (it's very effective). You can tell him you won't take him out driving or sign off on his driving hours or let him take the test in your car or drive you car if he doesn't take care of these other fines on his own. Tough? These kids NEED tough. With his attitude, good driver or not, he's going to end up in an accident when he is on his own or with his buddies. At any rate, the car is a great motivator. I'm not telling you to do it, just that it will probably work after he throws his expected tantrum, which you can ignore by leaving the house or making him leave until he calms down.The alternative is he learns you'll pick up his dirty laundry, like you did for his brother.He will have no motivation to act smarter. That mouth has to get under control or he can end up in trouble just for mouthing off to the cops. Hugs. I know it's hard. It's so very hard. But we have to be strong. What do you easy child daughters think about your sons? I'm curious because all of my other kids are fed up with my difficult child and none of them even want to see him. The girls both ask me why I even talk to him. They don't get angry at me, but they do roll their eyes when they know I'm on the phone with him. [/QUOTE]
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Just when I thought he was doing better, 17-year-old difficult child was arrested
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