Dirtmama, the more you describe this lad of yours, the more it sounds like a mix of my boys. Very much a classic Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). I'm not saying it could only be Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), but that in my opinion, it all could possibly fit under the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) umbrella.
medications won't necessarily fix it. The best medications can do, is help. Maybe. And hey, we take whatever help we can get. But the child has to learn to adapt with what's left.
Also, the child needs to adapt, but often can't manage it if his brain simply isn't ready yet.
For example, difficult child 3 had an English teacher in Year 9 who was very demanding. A very nice lady, a bit hyperactive herself I suspect, but convinced that difficult child 3 COULD do the work because his vocabulary is so advanced (ironic, considering his early language delay had difficult child 3 diagnosed as retarded). But in fact, the problems autism brings to Theory of Mind meant that difficult child 3 could NOT do the work at the level his teacher demanded. We lost a lot of opportunities with other subjects, while difficult child 3 bent over backwards to please his English teacher and neglected his other subjects. He still could not please his English teacher. Despite requests to simplify the questions, make them less open-ended, he was expected to handle questions like, "In the text, what does Jim think Bob believes was really going on?"
A classic Theory of Mind problem; difficult child 3 could handle it, JUST, if I helped explain it. But then he would 'lose' it again. It's really bad when your kid puts in all the work, tediously, then can't understand what he has written. Learning outcome - zero.
So we made a decision - give difficult child 3 a year off English. And now here we are after that break, and with a different (and more supportive) English teacher. We still cross paths with the previous English teacher (who is now the head of the English department) and she really does care about difficult child 3; but she doesn't understand him.
And now difficult child 3 is handling the work a bit better. Still a lot of room for improvement, though.
Basically - by giving difficult child 3 a year off, we gave his brain another year to hopefully mature a bit more, hopefully enough to help him get through.
Now difficult child 3, as a toddler, was remarkable. Non-verbal but clearly gifted. He was learning to talk by learning to read (I found out later, it's called hyperlexia). We followed his abilities and used them to help his deficit areas as much as we could, so when he showed capability with reading, we taught him the words he needed most - STOP, GO, EXIT, DOOR, CAR, TRUCK, TRAIN. At the same time he showed ability in use of computer, so we found an old computer in the trash, literally, and set it up for him. We figured it was already trash, what damage could this kid do? And using that computer, difficult child 3 learnt even more.
Then we noticed his ability with music - he was teaching himself to play tunes on the piano, so I showed him music notation. As a toddler.
So as a toddler, difficult child 3 could pick up a text and read it aloud. He didn't know what it meant and would read aloud words he could not speak. He barely knew his own name. But he could also read numbers, count into three digit numbers (forwards and backwards with equal ease) and read sheet music to play piano. He could reprogram anything electronic (and then put it back how it was). But when given his first IQ test a couple of years later, he failed it because they asked the questions verbally, and his verbal understanding was still very limited.
Medication won't fix this. But starting him on stimulant medications (at age 3) gave his language acquisition a huge boost - he was finally able to pay attention long enough to recognise the purpose of the spoken word in communication.
difficult child 3 will always be autistic. But he is adapting so well (as his older brother has done) that a lot of people meeting him casually do not realise he has autism. difficult child 3 called this (when he was 8) "pretending to be normal." Like his brother, he values his autism for the talents it has given him, the special abilities he values in himself. Yes, there are also problems, but not from his point of view.
He's hard work, but eventually it does pay off. It just takes a lot longer and you still get surprised by the deficits when you thought they were no longer an issue.
Marg
gotta go!
. he hasn't had a neuropsychologist evaluation as of yet. (therapist is helping us push for it) we are seeing this new child psychiatrist for the 2nd time (wed). another 2hr session. i am a nervous wreck.
) and steals everything not nailed down; goes into neighbors house (my sister in law thank god) when she's not home and steals things, steals at school, ski areas and stores. i wouldn't say concerta is effective for his impulse control. it helps him focus and calms him down a bit thats the extent of it.
