Just wondering if anyone else deals with this?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jamieh, Apr 4, 2013.

  1. Jamieh

    Jamieh New Member

    E is in TKD. Both of my boys are but because of other appointments we only get to go once a week and sometimes less. I rushed home to take E to his class and he was all excited about going because we missed it last week. He went in all excited but they put up new mirrors on the main floor. So for the first 5 minutes of class he stood and stared in the mirror and moved his hand in front of his face (he does this mostly when he talks). The instructor got him back in line for the obstacle course and told him that he was number 4 in line. He completely shut down. Wouldn't move. She got him to come out to me and he started crying that he didn't like the number 4. He only likes the number 5...which I knew. He went on and on about how he only likes #5 and he can't be number 4....I finally talked him into going back out because they obstacle course was over and they were doing kicks. He did go out but was pretty oblivious to what was going on around him. He started to participate around the end of the class. by the time we got back to the car he was fine and talking about how much he loves TKD. But this happens problem 70% of the time. Something will set him off and he just shuts down. And it is something so small. The instructor was really understanding and sweet but it's frustrating to me because we pay for him to go to the classes and he rarely participates. Is it typical for kids with- Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) to be hyped up about something but not actually excited when they try to do it? He also does this with play dates with friends. He begs for a friend to come over then I will find him alone in his room playing his leap pad or looking at a book while his friend and his little brother are playing. It's like he loves the IDEA of a lot of stuff but not actually the DOING part of it...if that makes sense?
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    He likes the idea, and actually wants to do it... but hits overload.
    Consider that his "brain" is younger than his "body".
    His body can handle a lot more than his brain can right now.
    And this is an activity on top of an already busy day.

    My difficult child couldn't handle ANY of it.
    Others... seem to be able to handle some, delicately managed.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids often don't really know how to play or even like to share or play with other kids. They do it side by side or just have no clue how. The idea of play may appeal to them, but they may not know what to do once somebody is actually there. And then...some Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids don't even WANT to have people come over (cough). My son would ask me to please say he isn't home if somebody in the neighborhood came by to play with him...lol. And he still does this sometimes if he has a visitor. The only person he wants to hang with is his one friend from his softball team. And he's 19!!!!
  4. Jamieh

    Jamieh New Member

    E has been in preschool for 2 years and he WANTS to play with other kids but tries to do so inappropriately. He always invades space and is very touchy and wants to always be putting his hands on them when he talks. His classmates get aggravated with him because he does it and he also makes loud random noises for no reason...or maybe just to hear something? So he does not have many actual friends...
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My son used to make loud, obnoxious noises at random too. Some were just loud sounds and others were strange throat noises. Sometimes he would just repeat a word or phrase over and over again. I believe it's a stimulant.

    They can outgrow it. Sonic doesn't do that anymore. In fact, at nineteen we don't see him stimming much at all. He may do it in his room but he has learned that it isn't acceptable to others. But it can take time for an ASDer to learn social norms. That's why I think interventions are so important.
  6. TeDo

    TeDo CD Hall of Fame

    In your original post, the change of having extra mirrors to investigate together with his "need" for the number 5 (but being put 4th in line) are very typical Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Those are things my difficult child 1 would have a problem with. When faced with "obstacles" (such as these), difficult child 1 shuts down because he doesn't know what else to do at the time and he needs time to process the situation. After he's had a chance to do that, he's fine.

    difficult child 1 also makes random "blurts" (that's what I call them whether they're noises or words) because that's his impulse at the time. Something pops into his head and he does/says it. In our house, our issues are that difficult child 2 is very "hands on" to others and difficult child 1 is "anti-touch". We are working hard on difficult child 2's touching but it has been a long road with CONSTANT teaching. I went everywhere with him and did on-the-spot teaching and reminding all the time throughout the whole outing. He's gotten much better over the years as he's grown and matured but it hasn't been easy. His respect for personal space still changes a lot but it's better than it was.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My son wasnt Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) (that we know of...heaven help us if the docs missed something else...lol) but when he was that young he was a constant ball of hypocritical thinking. He would want to do one thing but then something else would catch his eye and he was off on another tangent. We tried to give our boys three sports a year and we made them stick with the teams they picked until the season was over. They didnt have to sign up for the next season if they didnt want to do so. Im doing the same thing with my granddaughter.

    Now I think with the number 5 thing, I do think I would alert the teacher that he has a thing for that number and have them make sure he is always number 5. Save a tantrum.

    My granddaughter is slow to warm up to entering new things. She is shy. However once she gets over that first push to get out there, she has a great time. I would have him continue one for the remainder of his classes but if he doesnt want to do it again, pick something else. There are a ton of things to try. You can try swimming,gymnastics, dance, tball, flag football,basketball,track,and heaven only knows what else is available in your area. I would suggest gymnastics for a little boy who has a lot of energy to get out and has sensory issues to be honest. I wouldnt have thought of that before but after seeing it in person....yeah.