Just wondering, What Now?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearts and roses, Feb 27, 2009.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    The Job Search: So, difficult child has been looking for a job, she's applied at about 30 places in just the last couple of months. Some applications are duplicates. Places are closing up or letting their people go left and right. And despite "Help Wanted" signs in windows, the outlook is not so good. She's had a multitude of interviews and nothing every seems to pan out.

    The Loser Friends: She's not hanging out in the town where her most recent loser-ish friends were (re: monkeyboy and the gang). However, she's found her own little circle of losers right here in her hometown. Though, they are not big into pot and alcohol. I mean, they drink, but they aren't big partiers. IOW, she's not always out and she hasn't been coming home under any influence. The thing that makes these kids losers is that they all seem in a state of flux...not working, or working, but not full time, no direction or school - pretty much exactly like my difficult child.

    The Car: Her car has been off our insurance for over a month now and since she's not working, it's not looking like it's going to be on the road any time soon. I have allowed her to use my car for job hunting one day a week and one evening a week to meet her one friend at Starbucks. She's been really okay.

    The Meltdown/Hysterics: None to speak of. She became emotional one day while we were discussing her job situation and another time when we were discussing her old friends. Other than that, she's been pretty even. She was a bit manic the other day; like ants in the pants, she needed to get out of the house bad. I KNOW it was a reaction to her drinking two days before. I see that - I can read it now. I just ignore her when she's like that and if she complains I just tell her straight out "This is how you behave after you've been drinking - it takes a few days to get out of your system and I won't be svcked into the vortex so I ignore you till it's passed". That seems to do it.

    Her Contributions: She helps around the house, she cleans up for me, cleans up after herself, keeps her room decent, helps me with food shopping, the dogs, etc.

    Anyway, so what now? We're not enabling, we're not hounding, we're helping when it is absolutely necessary, otherwise, we're giving her all the space she needs to get it together and I think she's moving in the right direction. But we can't make someone hire her. What's next? H gave her some information regarding public service working with Obama's team and having something to do with AmeriCorps. It would provide an income of sorts and be somewhat local and I found it interesting - perhaps she will meet someone or discover something she can be passionate about. In any event, she was frustrated by this, claiming not to be a political person. I explained to her a bit about it and suggested she head to the website to check it out. I am hoping she does. Other than that, however, I have nothing else to offer. Any ideas?
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sounds like alot of progress other than the job dept. And like you said, you can't force someone to hire her. In this economy.....I know jobs around here are hard to find. Even teens are finding their normal niche in the job market filled because adults at snatching up the fast food jobs since there is no other work.

    I've really got no ideas on the work.......except she has to keep trying even though it's frustrating. Maybe in the mean time she could volunteer at something she likes....like at the animal shelter, or homeless shelter, or DV shelter or something. Or take some classes at the community college in things she's interested in. (that might spark an interest in something for her)

  3. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Does she have any services? I ask this because my daughter's sw took her to the employment center. The center is actually through the agency her sw comes out of. They have job training and work with local businesses that are willing to give a job to a troubled teen. (until age 21) They also have job shadows that will go to the job with the person and make sure everything goes smoothly. Maybe you could find something like this in your area? I don't know, just an idea.

    Other than that she seems to be doing well. Good for her for making better choices. She seems to be making progress. Congrats to her for that!!! :)

    Good luck with the job search, it is so hard right now, for everyone. Keeping my finger's crossed for more positive updates!
  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Peace Corps? Is VISTA still around? Both would provide "skills" and something to put on her resume. And it might inspire her, too.

    I'll think about it some more when I get home.

  5. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I know the unemployment office here offers WIA program. It is worth looking into.
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE





    difficult child is in a great position right now to try something like this. She is maturing. She has you guys to support her emotionally while she finds herself. She doesn't have the burden of a serious relationship or household "stuff" so she is able to move.

    The business community finally recognizes volunteer work and these kinds of programs as every bit as valuable as paid employment.

    Anyway..........something to chew on.

  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Thanks Suz, I will pass them along to her. She's not interested in the JobCorps program, as she once visited a local campus and was completely turned off.

    And I will sit with her as she looks at these. For that, she will need a little bit of hand holding...aka...explanations as to what each means and would entail. Thanks again.
    Lasted edited by : Feb 27, 2009
  8. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Habitat for Humanity?