Well, we finally had our "intake hearing" at juvie for wee's "assault" charge from last Oct. Turns out, the charges stem from the principal attempting to restrain him and she had "redness" on her chest. Complete bs. Anyway, we were supposed to take wee, and didn't on advice of the attorney. The meeting started with the JO being all high and mighty about him not being there. An hour and 3" of paperwork later, including a letter from his doctor stating he should not be there, and she had backed WAY off. No indication that there would be anything further with this. HOWEVER, you'll never guess who we saw there! DEX's whack-job girlfriend! OMG. Her 13 year old kid was busted with drugs, they were there for his "hearing". We'd been there about 5 minutes when she started texting exMIL asking why we were there. ExMIL didn't answer until it was all over. She told her it was a meeting about school junk - nothing out of the ordinary (I love that woman). Earlier that day, husband's cousin (the one whack-job girlfriend was having a fling with) had put new tires on my vehicle. He called to ask if I could run him home if he brought the car home. I told him I could not cause I had a meeting. He asked if it was work or school bs, and I said school bs. Whack-job girlfriend called him to tell him she'd seen us at juvie and pumped him for info. By the grace of God, he said the same thing exMIL did - some bs school meeting. Maybe I borrow trouble by worrying, but I really worry what would have happened if she hadn't "found out" what the meeting was about before she got home to DEX. DEX's mo was often to play high and mighty with difficult child 1 - even tho he rarely had a clue what was going on, if fhe found out, he'd go flying to the school to fix all problems. And we suspect he'd do the same with wee if he ever heard about any of this in any sort of "timely" manner - but being he's never around, and never asks, he rarely knows anything. ExMIL doesn't tell him anything unless he asks, and he almost never does. My dad used to call it the "father of the year" routine. But what would have happened if she'd stirred the pot with him, he'd placed a call to juvie, and given them his line of "she never lets me see him" blah blah blah? Ultimately, nothing, cause his whole family would stand behind us that he has been absent by choice for 9 years, but still...we'd have to jump thru the hoops. It makes me shudder, quite frankly. And now I'm back to considering changing the custody again. I initially thought about it in an attempt to qualify for a medicaid waiver - if I'd get it, I'd have to agree to go after him for back support unless I had sole custody and there was adequate reason to "let sleeping dogs lie". And I have adequate reason - all wee's docs agree dex would do more harm than good and have written statements as such. And if DEX thought it was to avoid support, exMIL could probably talk him down from the PO'ed he'd be when he got the papers....I plan to go after him for support some day. But not til Wee is much older. Let that sleeping dog lie, as well. On another note, exMIL told me DEX was recently on probation at his job, and it was due to assaulting a patient. He's gotten 2 felony assaults that he's plea bargained down now. And exMIL said he has a new girlfriend on the side. Whack-job knows it, but she doesn't have a job, so she relies on his income to pay the bills, so she's "stuck" with him. Not that she thinks whack-job would leave, anyway. ExMIL also told me whack-job is still insisting she could handle wee cause her son has ADD, so she knows all about it. I don't know her son, but exMIL says they are about as similar as cheetahs and sting rays. She also tried to get DEX to get his "parenting time" with wee, but she dropped it when exMIL told her DEX has NEVER paid support. She said DEX is there at least twice a week and almost never asks about wee, which is how exMIL knows its not DEX that's caring or asking. So yeah, considering hiring the attorney again. I'd kinda dropped it. DEX will never go after wee. But this last little deal could be made a mess with his 5 minutes of caring and his "father of the year" routine...with her driving it. And she scares me. She's a freakin' nut job.