JJJ
Active Member
We had a treatment team meeting this week re: Kanga. All the major staff, Kanga, her case worker and me (via phone). We have these big meetings every 3 months and the staff meet weekly in between these "quarterly staffings".
Her goals remain a transfer to TLP and then independent living. While her running away and assaults on staff in Sept were mentioned, they weren't the focus. I guess she had another problem this past weeked. They aren't allowed to share personal property with the other girls. Kanga did and the other girl told. The therapist asked Kanga to tell us what happened. I was so aggravated at Kanga; it was clear that she thought the problem in the whole situation was that the other girl told NOT that Kanga broke the rule. Even when staff redirected and pointed out that she broke a 'boundaries rule', she argued with them that sharing stuff wasn't a boundaries rule just a house rule. Ugh! Blaming, manipulation and misdirection...
Kanga did not acknowledge my presence on the phone. That is a big change cause she usually puts on a sweet "hi mommy I miss you" show for the team.
At the end of treatment team meetings, the youth is allowed to make requests for the team to consider. Kanga wants free time outside, more off campus activities, and to be moved up a level in the program. Very key omission is that she did not ask for the return of her phone privileges to talk to us.
The treatment team decided that she would be allowed to start attending church again with a 1:1 staff. All other requests were tabled. She is allowed to write treatment team a weekly letter so she can request 1 new privilege next week.
I asked for additional time with the treatment team with Kanga out of the room. They said that they feel that she will need to remain in treatment until she is 21 (when funding ends) but that they agree with me that if she is kept under the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) restrictions that she will walk out at 18. So the plan remains to find her a part-time job in the community and a community activity that she can go to unsupervised. They have already started having her get to know the TLP staff. The original plan was TLP at the end of May but now they are thinking end of July. Kanga still thinks she can get there by Christmas.
I explained that Kanga is the same Kanga she had always been. That her "remorse" for running away/assaults isn't true remorse, it is what she needs to say to get off of their consequences. That she will run again, that she will assault someone again, when she determines that it will get her what she wants. It is a game to her and she doesn't care who gets hurt as long as she wins. Pointing out that she could have run but didn't does not 'prove' that she learned anything, all it shows is that she doesn't run due to lack of impulse control, she runs when she has a plan for some fun.
Staff did the "part of recovery is relapse" song and dance. Fine. Whatever. She isn't recovering, she is mastering the system, big difference.
Her goals remain a transfer to TLP and then independent living. While her running away and assaults on staff in Sept were mentioned, they weren't the focus. I guess she had another problem this past weeked. They aren't allowed to share personal property with the other girls. Kanga did and the other girl told. The therapist asked Kanga to tell us what happened. I was so aggravated at Kanga; it was clear that she thought the problem in the whole situation was that the other girl told NOT that Kanga broke the rule. Even when staff redirected and pointed out that she broke a 'boundaries rule', she argued with them that sharing stuff wasn't a boundaries rule just a house rule. Ugh! Blaming, manipulation and misdirection...
Kanga did not acknowledge my presence on the phone. That is a big change cause she usually puts on a sweet "hi mommy I miss you" show for the team.
At the end of treatment team meetings, the youth is allowed to make requests for the team to consider. Kanga wants free time outside, more off campus activities, and to be moved up a level in the program. Very key omission is that she did not ask for the return of her phone privileges to talk to us.
The treatment team decided that she would be allowed to start attending church again with a 1:1 staff. All other requests were tabled. She is allowed to write treatment team a weekly letter so she can request 1 new privilege next week.
I asked for additional time with the treatment team with Kanga out of the room. They said that they feel that she will need to remain in treatment until she is 21 (when funding ends) but that they agree with me that if she is kept under the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) restrictions that she will walk out at 18. So the plan remains to find her a part-time job in the community and a community activity that she can go to unsupervised. They have already started having her get to know the TLP staff. The original plan was TLP at the end of May but now they are thinking end of July. Kanga still thinks she can get there by Christmas.
I explained that Kanga is the same Kanga she had always been. That her "remorse" for running away/assaults isn't true remorse, it is what she needs to say to get off of their consequences. That she will run again, that she will assault someone again, when she determines that it will get her what she wants. It is a game to her and she doesn't care who gets hurt as long as she wins. Pointing out that she could have run but didn't does not 'prove' that she learned anything, all it shows is that she doesn't run due to lack of impulse control, she runs when she has a plan for some fun.
Staff did the "part of recovery is relapse" song and dance. Fine. Whatever. She isn't recovering, she is mastering the system, big difference.
Am right there with you. I swear, we have a 3-part kid - Kanga, Onyxx and DaisyFace's difficult child. Similar and different.
