Kanga's new family

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by JJJ, Jan 24, 2013.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Kanga has found a single mom to take her into her home. Currently, they will do transition visits as Kanga finishes the school year. I'm very concerned about the woman's two children (11 & 13). Supposedly, this woman knows about Kanga's issues as she worked for a few months at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

    I find it hard to believe that she could know what Kanga is capable of doing and willing bring that into her home with her young children.

    Kanga keeps asking me if I will still use her "college fund" to pay for college. That alone tells me that she is still delusional. There is no college fund. We had started one, but it never got very big and it was all used on her care years ago. She also still reads at a 3rd grade level and is borderline mentally delayed -- college is so not happening. Their local college runs a free training program for custodial work, CNA, etc and that is modified so you do not have to read or even speak English to enroll. She can do that so she can still "go to college".

    This woman sounds like she wants to do this from the kindness of her heart. I feel sorry for her. She is officially being added to the treatment team. I wonder how quickly she will back out when she actually reads Kanga's file.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    What IS it about our kids that people "just want to help"?!

    I feel awful for this lady - and worse for her kids. I hope she DOES back out. I really really do.
  3. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    First, I not understand the woman thinking a child that is in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is a suitable placement in her home around her children. Second, I dont understand the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) allowing this woman to take Kanga in when she has young children who could be injured. Third, Kanga is in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) where she can't hurt anyone else for a reason.

    OK thats all from me! I don't know this story well but from what I have read Kanga is dangerous and the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) should damn well be aware of that by now. Why would they allow one of their staff to associate so closely with a mentally ill child? Do they not realize that by allowing Kanga and this employee to get so close they run the risk of being sued should something happen? Maybe I am crazy but doctors shouldn't be involved with patients and caregivers should have guidelines like that as well.
  4. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    JJJ - the one positive I see in this is that new family is part of treatment team. At least she's not just assuming Kanga is a poor misunderstood soul who needs the "right" influences - been there done that.

    Hopefully a plan B will also be in place for when/if things implode.

    Sorry - I know it's a stab in the heart to have some other person think they can meet her needs, after everything you have done. Good intentions are one thing, but this woman has no idea.

    Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

    Hugs to you.
  5. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    DSTC-- Kanga is 18, so treatment team cannot stop her from moving wherever she wants to go. This woman was a housekeeper/cook so there was no patient/caregiver relationship. The woman also quit months ago and only kept in contact with Kanga because they go to the same, very small church. So the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) has no control over either of them.

    SLSH -- Actually, Kanga's other "plans" were far more dangerous. Plan "A" would have put her at serious risk and Plan "B" would have brought her back to either J-town or old Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s TLP which would have been far to close for our comfort/safety. I'm just hoping that Kanga honeymoons for this lady, Kanga has been known to honeymoon for 14 months so I can hope ;)
  6. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    Scary but I hope she has a loooonnngg honeymoon period too.
  7. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Ugh! I think that's all there is to say...
  8. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Ugh is right. Long honeymoon please so JJJ and family have a chance to relocate.
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I'm really sorry to hear this, sure hope she reads the file and someone with some sense clues her in about protecting her kids.

    Do you even respond to her when she says things like what she said about the college money or do you just blow it off?

    Many hugs......just glad it keeps you and yours safe for now.
  10. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

  11. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    We can only hope a new environment sparks change.....
  12. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    TLP staff seem a little freaked out by this and they say that the woman has not called them yet. They are scrambling to have an internal staffing to discuss it before the director calls this woman. The school director seems to think she has Kanga convinced to stay (at least M-F) through July so she can do the summer school program. I am not so sure, once the weather turns nice, if Kanga will stick around regardless of what promises she makes.

    Kanga was denied SSI as an adult (she had it for the last two years as a child). No idea if the TLP screwed up the application or if this is SSI being stupid. There is no way that Kanga should not have qualified, heck our school district just changed her classification to a more severe level. The "good" side of that is that Kanga may not be able to move out as she has no income to pay for anything including rent and food. She is looking for a job but considering she has been fired from 3 of her last 5 jobs and the two that she kept were part of her "therapy" and even then she had suspensions and write-ups.

    She is cycling very, very rapidly. They claim she is currently medication compliant. I'm afraid that means that her playing fast and loose with taking her medications has decreased their effectiveness and she will need an increase, which she will refuse. Child is bound and determined to live the life that DCFS tried to save her from having to live.
  13. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Geez, what a continuing source of anxiety for you, I am sorry, it seems to just not end. I don't know all the particulars of the back-story, but I can read now how much Kanga has harmed you and your family and that threat seems to continue to loom large for you. I don't know what to say other then I am reading your posts and feeling empathy for your plight..............sending you lots of gentle hugs.............
  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Good Grief....she was denied SSI? difficult child#2 was denied after a reveiw wherein he told the psychiatrist that everything was going great, that he was starting college soon had a couple of jobs lined up etc. etc. NOT true except in his mind. I just don't "get" the system methods. I'm sorry. DDD
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow, they denied Kanga for adult SSI? That is unreal. Something is wrong there. The only thing I can think of is someone somewhere didnt code something right. Either that or they entered her as going to live somewhere that the income of the other people in the home would be counted against her. That is possible if she goes into this "new" family. With SSI they ask about the income of all people in the home. Or of course, someone could have simply failed to complete the application on time. Anyway you look at it, you need to reapply for her asap along with making sure she is covered by medicaid because her medications will be expensive as heck.
  16. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Thankfully, she remains covered by Medicaid as a former foster child until she graduates high school or turns 21, whichever happens first so we have a bit of breathing room on that. The TLP 'helped' her apply. I have a message in to them to see if they have already started the appeal. This is something I will get involved with because it is too darn important.

    She refused to be searched when she returned to the TLP last night and walked out. They called this afternoon to let me know she was still missing and not answering her phone. She is posting on facebook and she answered my texts (just chatted about the weather, she pretended to be at the TLP and I did not call her on it). Her facebook posts are completely manic and nearly unintelligible. So I know she is alive and just doing her thing.

    Staff questioned the other TLP girls and they said that Kanga had met some new guy, so I am sure she's with him.
  17. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Kanga is back at TLP. Gone for almost 24 hours, then strolls right in. They have more patience than I do. Least she is in her own bed tonight.
  18. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, dear. I am so sorry! First the do-gooder, then SSI, then she goes missing.
    Many, many hugs.
  19. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    And someone thinks they can handle her? How? Why? Have they had a psychiatric evaluation lately?

    An entire staff of people havent been able to take care of this child but one person can? What delusional planet are they living on?
  20. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I think Kanga convinced this woman that she would be homeless as of June 1. Now that it has been clarified that she can stay in treatment but is choosing to leave AND that she has no way to pay her share of expenses, Kanga has not mentioned this again. Course, she hasn't called at all...