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General Parenting
KarenB
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 152475" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Karen and husband, thank you for taking this thread in the vein it was meant. I'm so glad you didn't take it as a criticism. It wasn't meant that way.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you two can find something that does work for your son. As I said, I learned the hard way that being too punitive caused more damage than it helped. We have to give our kids a chance to see there is a way to redeem themselves; that they're not bad kids, just do dumb things sometimes. They really do have to see that light at the end of the tunnel, not just hear that there is a light somewhere down the road.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck on this leg. The early teens are brutal under the best of circumstances. For our immature ones, they're really just kids with raging hormones, which means less impulse control than their peers. By the time they hit mid-teens, they've grown up a little and the hormones aren't quite raging (just always there). Then comes the scariest times -- they're almost adults, think they have the right to all the privileges of adulthood but don't want the responsibilities.</p><p> </p><p>If we can keep them off drugs and in school, we do have a good chance to see them become adults that do have some of our values, do show some morals and are on the path towards being responsible.</p><p> </p><p>by the way -- Just to give you a little hope, my daughter lied and stole a lot at ages 11-15. It did stop. Today, she may take something of mine without permission but she does tell me she took it and does return it if told to do so. That would have NEVER happened when she was 13.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 152475, member: 3626"] Karen and husband, thank you for taking this thread in the vein it was meant. I'm so glad you didn't take it as a criticism. It wasn't meant that way. I hope you two can find something that does work for your son. As I said, I learned the hard way that being too punitive caused more damage than it helped. We have to give our kids a chance to see there is a way to redeem themselves; that they're not bad kids, just do dumb things sometimes. They really do have to see that light at the end of the tunnel, not just hear that there is a light somewhere down the road. Good luck on this leg. The early teens are brutal under the best of circumstances. For our immature ones, they're really just kids with raging hormones, which means less impulse control than their peers. By the time they hit mid-teens, they've grown up a little and the hormones aren't quite raging (just always there). Then comes the scariest times -- they're almost adults, think they have the right to all the privileges of adulthood but don't want the responsibilities. If we can keep them off drugs and in school, we do have a good chance to see them become adults that do have some of our values, do show some morals and are on the path towards being responsible. by the way -- Just to give you a little hope, my daughter lied and stole a lot at ages 11-15. It did stop. Today, she may take something of mine without permission but she does tell me she took it and does return it if told to do so. That would have NEVER happened when she was 13. [/QUOTE]
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