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Keeping Family Together
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 529676"><p>Well I think of a couple of things... in our case our daughter has been rather traumatized by my sons past behavior so I dont want to expose her to him until they have worked some things out and I think he needs to be clean first. So I would not do a family outing with all 4 of us at the moment. However if he was here I would take him to dinner, or do something with him, his dad and I. When he is using though those outings generally end badly. </p><p></p><p>But I don't see spending time with your difficult child as enabling unless you are allowing him to actively use in your presence. I don't think you are talking about doing that. I see nothing wrong with gestures that show you love them... in fact I think our addicts need to know we still love them. I think where it turns into enabling is when those outings turn into big time shopping trips, or otherwise ways for them to get money.</p><p></p><p>So I say sure take your difficult child to do errands with you, even buy her lunch, but don't let her turn it into a shopping trip where you buy her stuff.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 529676"] Well I think of a couple of things... in our case our daughter has been rather traumatized by my sons past behavior so I dont want to expose her to him until they have worked some things out and I think he needs to be clean first. So I would not do a family outing with all 4 of us at the moment. However if he was here I would take him to dinner, or do something with him, his dad and I. When he is using though those outings generally end badly. But I don't see spending time with your difficult child as enabling unless you are allowing him to actively use in your presence. I don't think you are talking about doing that. I see nothing wrong with gestures that show you love them... in fact I think our addicts need to know we still love them. I think where it turns into enabling is when those outings turn into big time shopping trips, or otherwise ways for them to get money. So I say sure take your difficult child to do errands with you, even buy her lunch, but don't let her turn it into a shopping trip where you buy her stuff. TL [/QUOTE]
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