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<blockquote data-quote="Elsieshaye" data-source="post: 530225" data-attributes="member: 12928"><p>For me, it's behavior based. If I'm having either positive or at least neutral interactions with-difficult child, I'm more likely to do nice things for him or include him in things. But if the interaction turns sour, I pull back until he initiates the next interaction. I did basically the same thing when he was living with me, but I was more likely to include him in things like getting take-out just because it felt weirder to me not to include him than it felt like I was being used if I -did- include him. It also puts the ball in his court, because it's based on what HE does. I just have to accept that, right now, I'm not likely to hear from him unless he wants something from me, and then decide as each request comes in whether I'm going to participate in it or not. He lives 300 miles away, so including him in day-to-day things is kind of moot now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsieshaye, post: 530225, member: 12928"] For me, it's behavior based. If I'm having either positive or at least neutral interactions with-difficult child, I'm more likely to do nice things for him or include him in things. But if the interaction turns sour, I pull back until he initiates the next interaction. I did basically the same thing when he was living with me, but I was more likely to include him in things like getting take-out just because it felt weirder to me not to include him than it felt like I was being used if I -did- include him. It also puts the ball in his court, because it's based on what HE does. I just have to accept that, right now, I'm not likely to hear from him unless he wants something from me, and then decide as each request comes in whether I'm going to participate in it or not. He lives 300 miles away, so including him in day-to-day things is kind of moot now. [/QUOTE]
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