kept difficult child home

[Jena]

hi,

kept difficult child home today and will tmrw for doctors appointment. she didn't eat or drink any shakes at her dad's yesterday, and she also fell asleep very early last night i'm sure due to absolutely no energy due to hardly no food in a while now.

so, i decided very late last night that was the plan, husband thought it was good idea also. yet i've had to dodge my ex h's texts all a.m. regarding what a poor decision i made.

if she isnt' going to eat, or function well, or retain anything and wind up in nurses' office and increase anxiety there truly is no point. called school this a.m. and waiting on call back to meet with-them, also picking up work for her tmrw for next few days.

made her some farina this morning, talked about the physical stuff of swallowing body process, etc. talked about anxiety and how it can show up as diff things.

she hasnt' eaten it yet or drank anything. called new pysch doctor alerted him. now going to try to find a therapist that handles this.

just figured i'd share

 

[Rannveig]

I'm so sorry you're going through this, Jena. FWIW, I (admittedly a complete stranger) think keeping her home is completely the right thing. How much evidence that she's unwell would your ex h need to give you some moral support? Everything you're doing sounds exactly right to me, in fact. I think you're doing an absolutely fantastic job; I wouldn't ask you to do anything differently than you're doing if you were caring for a child of mine. Good luck with the school and the doctors -- I hope you get the support that you and your daughter deserve.
Ranny

 

[idohope]

Sounds like a good decision to keep difficult child home. Hang in there. I hope you get some help via the doctor appointment tomorrow.

My brother in law developed a choking phobia. He has PTSD and additional undiagnosed MH issues and is an alcoholic. He stopped eating during the day time and in front of anyone and will only eat at night when he has consumed enough alcohol to deaden the anxiety.

So your difficult child is lucky to have a Mom that is so tuned it and is catching this early and getting the help including potentially appropriate medications rather than self medication (not that you indicated that about your difficult child). Keep us posted.

 

[DaisyFace]

Jena--

I'm so sorry that your family is dealing with this right now...

I wanted to make a simple suggestion that I have seen work for stress/eating issues:

Get your daughter involved in a strenuous exercise activity that doesn't SEEM like "exercise". Horseback riding, dance lessons, yoga, gymnastics, skating...you get the idea...an activity that is viewed as more "fun" than good for you. The results of this activity is that the body releases endorphins - which are nature's relaxants - PLUS the physical exertion increases appetitie.

So....say you take her to dance lessons (or riding or skating or watever) and then on the way home, when she is feeling tired but happy, relaxed and hungry you introduce a snack.

That should help get her eating a bit...

 

[Jena]

thanks for all the kind words it is truly appreciated.

and the tips also appreciated. trying to enroll her in dance, yet shes' so far gone now she is decompensating. didnt' wanna do anything with-dad all weekend long either.

husband and i are taking her to the diner, it's one of her favorite places maybe there she will see so many options and be tempted watching us eat. this is def. going to be a long road. i had a major meltdown last night lol. oh poor husband he was sooo tired from working 7 days straight, had to fire manager hes' been stealing from us bigtime. and there i was balling away on him. first time though he actually tried not to fix it and just shut up and hugged me. instead of always needing to fix it. gotta love men!

 

[Andy]

I am sorry Jena. Sometimes you have to just stop life and deal with one thing. Say, enough is enough and put all your energy into solving one thing. Sounds like difficult child is at that point. She needs to focus on only her health right now and spending days in the midst of obnoxious middle school behaviors will not help. I am glad you are keeping her home today.

 

[Jena]

yea i had to. i gotta be honest i'm holding up the game face infront of difficult child but i'm kinda a wreck over this right now. watching each day pass with no food in her and knowing tmrw i'm probably going Occupational Therapist (OT) have to pop some major medications into a kid who hasnt' eaten. i just dont know. can't find a therapist either. sat on phone for two hours today and called everyone on the provider list and no one simply no one. wait lists, you name it. ill calm down before tmrw. somehow yet i'm lost in this right now.