Hi, I am new to this forum so this is my first post. Well, I actually tried to reply to one earlier, but not sure if I did it right. Anyway, from what I have read, seems like my situation is similar to a lot of yours. We have been struggling with my now 18-year-old son pretty much since he was a baby. He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was about 7 or 8 years old. He was always a challenging child from the time he was a baby with extreme temper tantrums, trouble in school with grades and conduct, extremely emotional, etc., etc. From the time he was 14 he has smoked pot, got in trouble with the law, failed several grades in school, lied, stolen, etc., etc. We have moved 2 times in the last couple of years to different states and he always immediately gets attracted to the "wrong crowd".
He got put on probation last fall for hitting his dad in a public restaurant and being found with pot on him. He actually spent about 3 weeks in a juvenille facility before he was placed on probation. We have given him chance after chance and showed him probably too much mercy after his promises of changes, etc. We have never let him get his driver's license because of him constantly getting into trouble, immaturity, etc.
He has stolen my debit card and taken my car out without my permission to the point where I wear my keys on a chain around my neck. He has continued to fail drug tests and has even sold and abused his Aderall.
The last straw was this last weekend. We had been to counseling on Thursday, talked about putting him in Teen Challenge and he had agreed. My husband and I were planning a weekend trip, and my husband's mom was coming to stay with him and his sister (who has Down Syndrome). We told him this would be a good chance for him to show some maturity and show that he really wants to change, etc. Well, it was a disaster, he had apparently found my extra set of keys somehow, and went joy riding and wrecked my car. He called me with an elaborate story on how someone had drove up into our yard and hit my car, etc., etc. His grandmother never knew because she was sleeping. He also had several people in the house after being told to have no one. So, when we got home we realized that he was lying about the car, called the police, and they got out of him that he had taken the car. We told him to get out, that was the last straw, he is staying with some friends now, but I know that won't last.
My son called me last night to tell me he was okay and to tell me he had called some drug rehab places to go into and had called Teen Challenge. The thing about Teen Challenge is you have to pay $800 up front and you don't get it back if they leave. That is reasonable for a whole year for sure, but I just don't see him being serious about it right now. I am waiting for a call from his probation officer to see what she says. I really feel like judge will make him spend some time in jail first, that is really difficult for me to think about as I know it is for most moms.
I will welcome any advise about whether to go ahead with Teen Challenge, just totally leave him alone now and let him figure it out, etc, etc.
He got put on probation last fall for hitting his dad in a public restaurant and being found with pot on him. He actually spent about 3 weeks in a juvenille facility before he was placed on probation. We have given him chance after chance and showed him probably too much mercy after his promises of changes, etc. We have never let him get his driver's license because of him constantly getting into trouble, immaturity, etc.
He has stolen my debit card and taken my car out without my permission to the point where I wear my keys on a chain around my neck. He has continued to fail drug tests and has even sold and abused his Aderall.
The last straw was this last weekend. We had been to counseling on Thursday, talked about putting him in Teen Challenge and he had agreed. My husband and I were planning a weekend trip, and my husband's mom was coming to stay with him and his sister (who has Down Syndrome). We told him this would be a good chance for him to show some maturity and show that he really wants to change, etc. Well, it was a disaster, he had apparently found my extra set of keys somehow, and went joy riding and wrecked my car. He called me with an elaborate story on how someone had drove up into our yard and hit my car, etc., etc. His grandmother never knew because she was sleeping. He also had several people in the house after being told to have no one. So, when we got home we realized that he was lying about the car, called the police, and they got out of him that he had taken the car. We told him to get out, that was the last straw, he is staying with some friends now, but I know that won't last.
My son called me last night to tell me he was okay and to tell me he had called some drug rehab places to go into and had called Teen Challenge. The thing about Teen Challenge is you have to pay $800 up front and you don't get it back if they leave. That is reasonable for a whole year for sure, but I just don't see him being serious about it right now. I am waiting for a call from his probation officer to see what she says. I really feel like judge will make him spend some time in jail first, that is really difficult for me to think about as I know it is for most moms.
I will welcome any advise about whether to go ahead with Teen Challenge, just totally leave him alone now and let him figure it out, etc, etc.
