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Substance Abuse
Kicked my son out, foster care, fear
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<blockquote data-quote="dayatatime" data-source="post: 705210" data-attributes="member: 17805"><p>I think I just can't let him back in- even if he starts to function- because it's always temporary. Or- for now- at this stage in his life- the good spots are temporary. ...which bring us the subject of hope. Maybe they won't *always* be temporary, but without long term treatment and a real commitment to change they will be.</p><p></p><p>He was doing recreation- hanging out with his friends getting high and playing video games. It wasn't enough for me. My problem with him not functioning is that the stress of it impinges on my ability to function- then it's time to save myself. </p><p></p><p>Me having left the house for Christmas seems to have had a positive (but painful) effect. Throwing him out.... I suspect he's going to go deeper into trouble. I think he just sells pot in small amounts, but I know he buys from people who sell very hardcore drugs- and he had told me that he was advising them on their crack dealing. Something within in has kept him pot and occasional pills- though his use of pot is serious substance abuse territory- I have no problem with recreational use- this isn't it. I guess prayer is what's left for me. </p><p></p><p>I want some contact with him. I know right now is too soon- I'm still recovering. And then there's the knowledge that he will just start asking me for money and stuff...... And all the things he will say about how I don't love him, how I only love him if he does what I want him to do, how I have to respect him.... </p><p></p><p>Because I have the foster home fallback in place, he has a gentler misery than some. And I have some peace of mind knowing he has a roof and some food. Maybe that's all just more enabling- there's an endless amount of second guessing of oneself that can done.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dayatatime, post: 705210, member: 17805"] I think I just can't let him back in- even if he starts to function- because it's always temporary. Or- for now- at this stage in his life- the good spots are temporary. ...which bring us the subject of hope. Maybe they won't *always* be temporary, but without long term treatment and a real commitment to change they will be. He was doing recreation- hanging out with his friends getting high and playing video games. It wasn't enough for me. My problem with him not functioning is that the stress of it impinges on my ability to function- then it's time to save myself. Me having left the house for Christmas seems to have had a positive (but painful) effect. Throwing him out.... I suspect he's going to go deeper into trouble. I think he just sells pot in small amounts, but I know he buys from people who sell very hardcore drugs- and he had told me that he was advising them on their crack dealing. Something within in has kept him pot and occasional pills- though his use of pot is serious substance abuse territory- I have no problem with recreational use- this isn't it. I guess prayer is what's left for me. I want some contact with him. I know right now is too soon- I'm still recovering. And then there's the knowledge that he will just start asking me for money and stuff...... And all the things he will say about how I don't love him, how I only love him if he does what I want him to do, how I have to respect him.... Because I have the foster home fallback in place, he has a gentler misery than some. And I have some peace of mind knowing he has a roof and some food. Maybe that's all just more enabling- there's an endless amount of second guessing of oneself that can done. [/QUOTE]
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Kicked my son out, foster care, fear
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