Kids say the darndest things ...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by TerryJ2, Sep 7, 2008.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    This came to me in email. I have no idea if it's true, but it's funny nonetheless.

    The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

    I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

    When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

    Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front o f the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

    She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

    'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

    She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

    'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

    'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.'

    (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
    'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

    'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in
    yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there.'

    Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when i t's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes a long.

  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member


    So cute!
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    If it is true, makes you wonder what was in THAT note home! LOL
  4. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    That was wonderful. What a glorious child!

    Thank you for sharing that with us.

    Love, Esther
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I love this!
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Thank you so much for sharing that. How absolutely wonderful. Kids are great!
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    Kids are so much fun!

    And imagine.........Darrin is already asking easy child if he can watch the baby be born. :rofl:
  8. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    I'm laughing so hard I'm crying! My kids are obsessed about this right now and I thought I'd heard some funny stuff, but this has GOT to be one of the best ones yet!

  9. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Very's great what kids pickup in just standing around.........