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General Parenting
Kim Peek, "the real rain man"
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 96842" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Concern about an adult child who can not live on his own is a reality for many of us. </p><p>I have pushed to confront this possible reality since difficult child was 13 and not tying his shoes. To assume that others will care for an adult difficult child who is not functioning independently is unrealistic. If it comes down to easy child needing to care for his own children or an adult difficult child I assume he will take care of his kids. Despite easy child's best intentions, life gets in the way and situations higher on the priority list for easy child may be in play. </p><p>It's my responsibility to insure that appropriate arrangements are made. The plans are written and understood by all involved and that the expectations that difficult child should be treated with dignity.</p><p></p><p>I strongly believe family cares for family but that does not mean everyone else in the family can or will do it. </p><p></p><p>Marguerite, I am familiar with some of the programs in the UK where there are care takers and homes in the community for those who are less than 100% independent. It doesn't exist in the US. Not to my knowledge anyhow. Mostly because of sheer numbers and the amount of abuse in the system financially. There are group homes but they are not located in decent areas of the city because of zoning and no one wanting "those people" in their neighborhood. Anyone different is considered dangerous. There isn't a lot of acceptance for those who are different or homogenized. Neighborhoods tend to obstruct any sort of group home even if it's for senior citizens based on the fact it will affect property values. </p><p>I am not aware of one on one live in help but truthfully I don't have any experience with this aspect of the government system.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 96842, member: 3"] Concern about an adult child who can not live on his own is a reality for many of us. I have pushed to confront this possible reality since difficult child was 13 and not tying his shoes. To assume that others will care for an adult difficult child who is not functioning independently is unrealistic. If it comes down to easy child needing to care for his own children or an adult difficult child I assume he will take care of his kids. Despite easy child's best intentions, life gets in the way and situations higher on the priority list for easy child may be in play. It's my responsibility to insure that appropriate arrangements are made. The plans are written and understood by all involved and that the expectations that difficult child should be treated with dignity. I strongly believe family cares for family but that does not mean everyone else in the family can or will do it. Marguerite, I am familiar with some of the programs in the UK where there are care takers and homes in the community for those who are less than 100% independent. It doesn't exist in the US. Not to my knowledge anyhow. Mostly because of sheer numbers and the amount of abuse in the system financially. There are group homes but they are not located in decent areas of the city because of zoning and no one wanting "those people" in their neighborhood. Anyone different is considered dangerous. There isn't a lot of acceptance for those who are different or homogenized. Neighborhoods tend to obstruct any sort of group home even if it's for senior citizens based on the fact it will affect property values. I am not aware of one on one live in help but truthfully I don't have any experience with this aspect of the government system. [/QUOTE]
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Kim Peek, "the real rain man"
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