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Parent Emeritus
Kinda long but need some advice...thanks in advance
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 361991" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Wiz has lived with my parents since just before his 14th birthday. We did not draw up a legal custody arrangement. I was willing to, but never ended up being needed. I was a mess then, simply could not handle the fear and PTSD even being in the same house with him brought out of me. I was loathe to send him to my parents because I thought he needed Residential Treatment Center (RTC). We stood to lose our other kids if Wiz stayed in our home because he had a history of reported abuse of Jessie and he was attacking me regularly.</p><p></p><p>My parents asked that we not second guess parenting decisions, that we let them deal with the daily stuff. We consulted on the bigger issues, but husband and I let them have the final say in them because they had to live with him. </p><p></p><p>I let them have him. I felt bad about it part of the time. Esp when the other kids wondered if they acted out if I would send them away too. That one hurt, but it is what it looked like to them. We have worked through it. </p><p></p><p>I don't know if that situation would work with you or not. It did for us because we knew that Wiz would never accept any of the house rules that husband and I live by. If we had a hand in it, he refused to follow a direction or rule. </p><p></p><p>I did give them a letter saying that they were authorized to do school stuff, medical stuff, sign any/all permissions, etc... A copy was with them, with the doctor's office, with the psychiatrist's office, with the school, and wallet size copies were in their wallets with the insurance card. Each copy was signed and notarized, per doctor and school request. </p><p></p><p>The ONLY times we had to mess with anything were when he got a state ID so he could fly (over 14 must have own ID to fly), again so he could get his permit and take the driving tests, and for a passport for a trip that fell through.</p><p></p><p>After the initial school and doctor stuff, no one even commented on the Grands signing stuff.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 361991, member: 1233"] Wiz has lived with my parents since just before his 14th birthday. We did not draw up a legal custody arrangement. I was willing to, but never ended up being needed. I was a mess then, simply could not handle the fear and PTSD even being in the same house with him brought out of me. I was loathe to send him to my parents because I thought he needed Residential Treatment Center (RTC). We stood to lose our other kids if Wiz stayed in our home because he had a history of reported abuse of Jessie and he was attacking me regularly. My parents asked that we not second guess parenting decisions, that we let them deal with the daily stuff. We consulted on the bigger issues, but husband and I let them have the final say in them because they had to live with him. I let them have him. I felt bad about it part of the time. Esp when the other kids wondered if they acted out if I would send them away too. That one hurt, but it is what it looked like to them. We have worked through it. I don't know if that situation would work with you or not. It did for us because we knew that Wiz would never accept any of the house rules that husband and I live by. If we had a hand in it, he refused to follow a direction or rule. I did give them a letter saying that they were authorized to do school stuff, medical stuff, sign any/all permissions, etc... A copy was with them, with the doctor's office, with the psychiatrist's office, with the school, and wallet size copies were in their wallets with the insurance card. Each copy was signed and notarized, per doctor and school request. The ONLY times we had to mess with anything were when he got a state ID so he could fly (over 14 must have own ID to fly), again so he could get his permit and take the driving tests, and for a passport for a trip that fell through. After the initial school and doctor stuff, no one even commented on the Grands signing stuff. [/QUOTE]
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Kinda long but need some advice...thanks in advance
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