Knock'em out John

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Sheila, Oct 15, 2009.

  1. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    We used to have a lot of trouble with aggression. Things have improved, but now and then there's a reminder to never let your guard down....

    There's a bully in one of difficult child's classes. Apparently, this particular student tries the patience of all -- including the teachers.

    difficult child is small for his age and is a good target for bullies (so they think).

    The story goes that Bully was mouthing off, difficult child got tired of it, and told Bully he is annoying.

    Mr. Bully popped-off something to the effect, I dare you to make me stop.

    So, Mr. difficult child knocked the fire out of Mr. Bully.....

    Good thing difficult child's in the program that he's is or the police would have been called.....

    Both were confined to Isolated Instruction for the rest of the day.....

    I asked difficult child what the boy did after difficult child slugged him. difficult child said, "He just looked at me." All the big talk came to a screeching hault.....

    Do you have any idea how many times I've told difficult child, "Keep your hands to yourself?":wildone::confused: I might as well talk to the wall.
     
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Sometimes it's nearly impossible to prevent a physical expression of outrage and frustration like your difficult child's! I don't know too many adults who'd be able to resist the overwhelming urge to pop someone like the bully after so much taunting. And some bullies don't change until they are jarred out of their comfort zone. It goes against everything we teach our difficult child's (since it's second nature for many of them to react that way), but in this case the kid had it coming! ;)
     
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I can see that argument/fight going on between 2 non-difficult children! I am glad nobody got hurt. Punishment seems to have been dealt. Detach.
     
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I dont think this is a case of being a difficult child. I think this is a case of being a boy and having to deal with a bully. Sometimes all that will stop a bully is having the bully put in his place.

    Jamie was completely non aggressive. He loathed fighting. He was very tall and he could handle himself well. He knew he could take on anyone who picked on him but he didnt want to have to do it so he always walked away. There was this one kid...actually a neighbor boy but he was in his class too.

    This kid picked on him at the bus stop, he picked on him on the bus, he picked on him at school. It went on for weeks. The teachers saw it and did nothing. Jamie told them. Nothing happened.

    Finally after about 4 weeks when neighbor boy kept it up and no one would stop it, Jamie had enough. He told the boy...back off or Im gonna beat your *****. Kid kept up. Jamie quietly turned around and laid him out. School didnt do a darned thing to Jamie. Said the kid had it coming. And he did. Now the kids dad tried to come to our house and complain but Tony just stepped outside and asked if the dad wanted them to have a rematch and the dad went home.

    Funny...that kid is the one who we have had so much trouble with. The one who has blamed Cory for so much, has stolen our guns, stabbed Tony with the beer bottle...etc. Yeah...nice upstanding kid.
     
  5. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    Wow, tough call on my part. Sometimes all that can done is to put bully in place. My difficult child simliarly got two weeks off of football for hitting a kid who was continuously bullying a little more difficult child kid on his team. While I could not let difficult child know that perhaps he did what he had too, the parent of the child he stood up for had them both over for dinner and some football practice.

    I let the consequence be the lesson and I detached.

    It is tough to have a 'regular' kid altercation when you are a difficult child. I bet this is an isolated incident.
     
  6. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    You're not talking to a wall. He tried to use his words first. After that, as much as I loathe violence, it seems the bully was asking for it.

    I'm pretty sure difficult child 2 would have just decked him and *then* told him he was annoying him - in not so nice words.
     
  7. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I'm sorry but I have to agree. While I'm not a big one for fighting, sometimes, difficult child or easy child, you have to do what you have to do. I would also bet that difficult child was only punished because even with warning the bully, he still hit first. But, I would hazard a guess that there were staff members silently and secretly cheering for difficult child when the news made the rounds.

    Should he have done that? Of course not. But....it seems that this kid needed to be shut up and difficult child DID warn him. It's his own fault for not shutting up.
     
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with the others, he shouldn't have done it but he did try more peaceful manner and the guy wouldn't let up. He was asking for it.
     
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    She-

    There are lots of choices that your son could have made. However - when you constantly allow yourself to be victimized as a patsy - you either become everyones whipping boy and loose all your self esteem or you stand up for yourself and let that bully have it right in the snoot.

    Maybe now this will be a non-issue. I'm all for violence never solves anything, but in this case? I hope it sent a message to the aggressor.

    If you think about what Bullies really are? Maybe....this will be the last time..
     
  10. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    My husband was (and still is) a nerd. He probably looked like the stereotype of a nerd when he was in jr. high (pocket protector, brief case, etc.) Anyway, there was some kid who picked on him mercilessly and I don't remember the "last straw" event, but one day husband was sitting at his desk and the kid came walking past and husband punched him in the stomach as he was walking by. The bully never bothered my husband again. Sometimes I think "violence" is okay.
    Jane
     
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Good for your son! As with everything else in life, sometimes there is a need for violence. In this case, where were the adults when this kid was bullying your child? why didn't THEY do something? Isn't that their JOB?

    Some lessons can only be learned, and taught, one way. Your son tried to teach this boy in other ways. He even gave a warning before he whomped the kid.

    I object to the punishment. If they were there enough to punish your son and this boy then they were there enough to make the bully stop.

    They don't get it both ways in my book.

    Your son deserves some ice cream!
     
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