kt is home on an overnight .....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, May 9, 2009.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    an I'm a tad frustrated at her. I asked staff at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to remind kt of the rules in my home ~ they went over them one by one. I also asked Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff to remind kt that I needed help with a few things as furniture is being delivered tomorrow.

    As kt enters the door the phone rings ~ yup one of her BFFs calling ~ how did she time this? Then the cell phone pops on & she's checking voice mail & such. As she refused to bring the laptop back downstairs, I shut down her internet access from my machine.

    As I was cooking dinner kt came downstairs ~ asked to help & her phone rang. I bit my tongue, got dinner on the table & we had yet another discussion about the rules in my home. They are not unreasonable. AND I really need her to put the phone down & help clear out the area in my bedroom & in the living room. Three hours max of work & she can go play to her heart's content.

    She finally lifted her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) butt off the chair to help after my friend that I used to work with showed up to give me & kt a hand with some heavy stuff - carry it out to the dumpster.

    With all the time & energy put into my ktbug; all the funding & such there are few rules that are non negoitable. Computer time in the kitchen or living room; anyplace adults are available. AND cell phone off when I ask & brought down to me each evening by 8 pm.

    Saying that, she is trying. Working her treatment. I know the freedom of an overnight can be over stimulating.

    However, I have an axe hanging over my neck; the county is watching the situation here closely (due to my ongoing health issues & kt's escalating emotions & such since husband died). psychiatrist has already discussed with me putting kt into foster care. I just cannot do this again. It's too much.

  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{Linda}}} I know it must be difficult... the phone & computer stuff sounds so typical teen to me. I really hope the county backs off the foster care route with kt and give your family some time. Do they realize your niece has moved in?
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I can see the phone and computer stuff with my so called easy child (what teen/preteen is a easy child???) Maybe you could call your niece your assistant, or how about domestic in home assistant? I know it sounds silly, but we are all about titles in this country. If she had a title they may back off some. Here's hoping they back off anyways.
  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Does KT have access to her friends while she is in treatment? Was she able to contact them to tell them when her passes are?

    On her next visit, you may want to schedule friend time ahead of time. Not stating what that will mean and with who but, "KT, while home, you may have friend time from ____ to ______. I would like to spend time with you the rest of the time."

    kids and cell phones can be so stressful. They are constantly on them not realizing how rude it is to interrupt whoever they are with to answer the call. Maybe set times for that is also in order? Why is it that we as a society think that we HAVE to jump when the phone rings? I know I am guilty about it. I guess I think it is rude if I don't answer it but in the day of answer machines, a message can be left and if it is urgent we can call back ASAP otherwise, finish what we are doing with whom we are doing it with.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry, this must be so hard to have the county acting like this. They are really making me angry! I too was wondering if having your niece there would help them back off a bit. Hugs.
  6. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    The county is certainly not being helpful in all this. Sometimes I want to grab ahold of those folks and shake them and say "Do you really think you are helping with your idiocy?"

    As for kt some of it does sound very typical teen and some of it sounds like when difficult child 1 would come home and sit on her duff the entire time. Unless it directly impacted her. We had to have a few very long sessions with Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff to get through.

    Many hugs....
  7. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    The stuff with the county makes me so angry! Like the others have said, are they aware your niece is living with you?

    As far as kt's behavior, once again, I agree with what the others have said - Some of it sounds typical teen. I know my easy child would be on her cell phone constantly if we let her. She is also extremely self-centered and needs constant reminders to help out.

    I hope, in general, the weekend went well and you were able to enjoy kt's company on Mother's Day. WFEN
  8. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    psychiatrist is pushing the foster care ~ he's seen the decline in my health & the death of husband & is very concerned for the family as a whole.

    Saying that, he keeps bringing it up at staffings (quarterly) & hasn't sold the county on it yet. The county sees my niece, K, as a positive along with her sister, my niece T moving up here as an answer to a prayer when it comes to family support.

    kt pulled it together & had, for the most part, a positive visit. Those typical teen behaviors with a difficult child become extremely intense; I maintain my calm as best I can.

    Thank you all ~ I don't think the county will continue their scrutiny with both my nieces in town by the first of June.
  9. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I'm glad both your nieces will be in town soon and the county knows you have family support. You're right - typical teen behaviors in a difficult child are extremely tough to manage!!! I also know how hard it can be to remain calm. However, remaining calm is the key to getting through it. difficult children can bring out the worst in anybody!!!

    I hope today is a good one for you. And, tonight, just think... A long, hot, shower in your "new" bathroom!!! A good night's rest in your new bed.... Now, all you need is a hot cup of tea and a good book... I'm ready for the end of the day now! I think I better go get another cup of coffee!!!

    I'm glad one issue, the county, seems to be resolved!!! I've got all body parts crossed that they leave you alone!!! WFEN