witzend
Well-Known Member
Just to be sure that everyone gets the picture up front, I'll get some of the basics of L and her boyfriend's history out of the picture. L is 26, he is 36-ish. L is agnostic/Jewish, boyfriend is Christian. L is Democrat, he is Republican. L wants marriage and children (that is her life's plan for herself) he wants neither. He's kicked her out twice, she has been back with him for a year or so but doesn't have key to his house. When she works, she spends all of her money on tanning and clothes. Daddy cut her off financially March 26, her 26th birthday. In turn she traded in the car she finally owed no money on (daddy was making the payments) for a brand new Nissan Exterra, which boyfriend helped her get because he is a finance manager at a car dealership. On a side note, we leased my car from him, and the last lease payment is in July and we have been talking to boyfriend about getting a truck so that we could do stuff around the house without borrowing all of the time.
So, we had semi-settled on the Honda Ridgeline. They had one on boyfriend's lot that isn't the model I wanted, but I did want to see the interior, see how it drives. boyfriend said to come by yesterday, and he would show it to us. He is going to look for a car at auction for us and give us a good price. We were busy finishing up some yard stuff yesterday, so I told husband to come with me to look. I called boyfriend's work, which is the number I had on the cell, and they said he was out and would be back in 1/2 hour. I texted L to see if I could get his cell # which was at home. No answer. We went to the store, called again, he still wasn't in. I made arrangements to have someone show us the car and made sure they knew we weren't buying today.
We drove the car, checked out the features, boyfriend still wasn't back. We went home and didn't think much more about it. Finally about 4 hours later, L calls and asks what we wanted. I told her, even though I knew she had seen the text. She asked if we had gone to the lot, and said "There was some drama here, and my dad mediated." Huh?
Apparently, the night before, she, boyfriend, boyfriend's bff JR, and another friend of boyfriend's friends, D, went out drinking. According to L: Brian was being grumpy and went home without her. She and JR and D stayed out. She says that JR started "hitting on her". JR lives next door to them. She drove JR and D home, dropping D off first a few blocks from their home. L says that they got home and JR continued to make passes at her so she honked the horn, knowing that boyfriend would come out of the house. (Not sure why she didn't just get out of the car and go into the house.) She says she warned JR that B would be out, and JR kissed her. Right then boyfriend came out of the house and saw them and reached in the car and hit L in the face. Then boyfriend went in the house, locked the doors (she doesn't have a key) and turned off the garage door opener. So, she's pounding on the doors and trying to call him on the phone and he's not answering.
boyfriend, in the meantime, has called L's dad, the attorney. L's dad comes, and helps L get a few changes of clothes and takes her to his house, where he and his wife of 6 days and her son live. They get together and talk yesterday, and L's dad explains to boyfriend all the ways she could call the police on him, including filing an assault report and a restraining order which would get him kicked out of his house. (I told her I hoped she wasn't considering that option, as it's his house and he would be back and she would be on the street with no credibility in a couple of days.) They have decided to take a rest until Wednesday, and talk then.
I asked her if she had any idea of what it was that she intended to say, and she didn't. I told her that she had better figure it out, as she didn't need to go in there with no plan. Her boyfriend is no fool. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to deal with a girl who has a domestic relations attorney for a dad. She did meet with her half sister S for dinner yesterday. The two of them are like oil and vinegar. S has her own house and a regular job, and it's the house they grew up in.
I'm pretty sure that S doesn't want L living with her. L is a total slob and entitled to everything around her. She and S fight like cats and dogs. I have a call in to L's dad, to see what is really going on. I'm thinking this is a good opportunity to go with the "do to get" thing with L. Since she last lived with us, we have only one bed in our home for a reason. I just wish that she would be like Kathy's daughter and have an awakening as to what it is that she would like to do and be. I already talked to her about this last time he kicked her out, but all she did was go dating with losers she met on match.com.
Oh, well. I doubt that L's dad will call me back. He's quite certain that I don't have anything to offer as a parent, and the last time I talked to him and he blabbed to L what I had said, I told him in no uncertain terms that I was talking to him as her mother, not as someone that he got to share that information about with L. Wait and see, wait and see... I knew that if she got a job they would be on the outs again soon. I don't think that she sees that it's frustrating to him that she only uses work as a means to improve her lifestyle.
And, no matter what, he doesn't get to hit her!
So, we had semi-settled on the Honda Ridgeline. They had one on boyfriend's lot that isn't the model I wanted, but I did want to see the interior, see how it drives. boyfriend said to come by yesterday, and he would show it to us. He is going to look for a car at auction for us and give us a good price. We were busy finishing up some yard stuff yesterday, so I told husband to come with me to look. I called boyfriend's work, which is the number I had on the cell, and they said he was out and would be back in 1/2 hour. I texted L to see if I could get his cell # which was at home. No answer. We went to the store, called again, he still wasn't in. I made arrangements to have someone show us the car and made sure they knew we weren't buying today.
We drove the car, checked out the features, boyfriend still wasn't back. We went home and didn't think much more about it. Finally about 4 hours later, L calls and asks what we wanted. I told her, even though I knew she had seen the text. She asked if we had gone to the lot, and said "There was some drama here, and my dad mediated." Huh?
Apparently, the night before, she, boyfriend, boyfriend's bff JR, and another friend of boyfriend's friends, D, went out drinking. According to L: Brian was being grumpy and went home without her. She and JR and D stayed out. She says that JR started "hitting on her". JR lives next door to them. She drove JR and D home, dropping D off first a few blocks from their home. L says that they got home and JR continued to make passes at her so she honked the horn, knowing that boyfriend would come out of the house. (Not sure why she didn't just get out of the car and go into the house.) She says she warned JR that B would be out, and JR kissed her. Right then boyfriend came out of the house and saw them and reached in the car and hit L in the face. Then boyfriend went in the house, locked the doors (she doesn't have a key) and turned off the garage door opener. So, she's pounding on the doors and trying to call him on the phone and he's not answering.
boyfriend, in the meantime, has called L's dad, the attorney. L's dad comes, and helps L get a few changes of clothes and takes her to his house, where he and his wife of 6 days and her son live. They get together and talk yesterday, and L's dad explains to boyfriend all the ways she could call the police on him, including filing an assault report and a restraining order which would get him kicked out of his house. (I told her I hoped she wasn't considering that option, as it's his house and he would be back and she would be on the street with no credibility in a couple of days.) They have decided to take a rest until Wednesday, and talk then.
I asked her if she had any idea of what it was that she intended to say, and she didn't. I told her that she had better figure it out, as she didn't need to go in there with no plan. Her boyfriend is no fool. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to deal with a girl who has a domestic relations attorney for a dad. She did meet with her half sister S for dinner yesterday. The two of them are like oil and vinegar. S has her own house and a regular job, and it's the house they grew up in.
I'm pretty sure that S doesn't want L living with her. L is a total slob and entitled to everything around her. She and S fight like cats and dogs. I have a call in to L's dad, to see what is really going on. I'm thinking this is a good opportunity to go with the "do to get" thing with L. Since she last lived with us, we have only one bed in our home for a reason. I just wish that she would be like Kathy's daughter and have an awakening as to what it is that she would like to do and be. I already talked to her about this last time he kicked her out, but all she did was go dating with losers she met on match.com.
Oh, well. I doubt that L's dad will call me back. He's quite certain that I don't have anything to offer as a parent, and the last time I talked to him and he blabbed to L what I had said, I told him in no uncertain terms that I was talking to him as her mother, not as someone that he got to share that information about with L. Wait and see, wait and see... I knew that if she got a job they would be on the outs again soon. I don't think that she sees that it's frustrating to him that she only uses work as a means to improve her lifestyle.
And, no matter what, he doesn't get to hit her!
