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General Parenting
Lack of consistency
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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 41451" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>husband: "Take your pill."</p><p>difficult child: "I want cereal."</p><p>husband (or you): "As soon as you take your pill, I'm happy to get you some cereal."</p><p> </p><p>I would try something like this </p><p></p><p>While you take your pill, I will be happy to get you some cereal.</p><p></p><p>I don't want my statement to be conditional , a source of conflict , something that gets in the way of the real reason for taking a pill or eating cereal.</p><p></p><p>Consistency is important when using behavior mod , a rat gets confused when he is rewarded/ punished inconsistently.</p><p></p><p>Gordon Thomas - author of Parent Effective Training describes as a perfevtably normal and effective negotiation or problem solving strategy , when the second parent steps in. husband does not have the emotional baggage or the disadvantage of being in a conflict , he comes in independently and is in a better position to make progress . If a second negotiator gives in on a certain issue , it does not undermine the ist negiotiator. If one sees the kid as the enemy , I can understand why a united front, the parents against the kid is so important</p><p>Terry , in my humble opinion your husband is not clueless .</p><p>I hope things get easier</p><p></p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 41451, member: 10"] husband: "Take your pill." difficult child: "I want cereal." husband (or you): "As soon as you take your pill, I'm happy to get you some cereal." I would try something like this While you take your pill, I will be happy to get you some cereal. I don't want my statement to be conditional , a source of conflict , something that gets in the way of the real reason for taking a pill or eating cereal. Consistency is important when using behavior mod , a rat gets confused when he is rewarded/ punished inconsistently. Gordon Thomas - author of Parent Effective Training describes as a perfevtably normal and effective negotiation or problem solving strategy , when the second parent steps in. husband does not have the emotional baggage or the disadvantage of being in a conflict , he comes in independently and is in a better position to make progress . If a second negotiator gives in on a certain issue , it does not undermine the ist negiotiator. If one sees the kid as the enemy , I can understand why a united front, the parents against the kid is so important Terry , in my humble opinion your husband is not clueless . I hope things get easier Allan [/QUOTE]
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