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Last Night The Devil Showed In My Dream,This Morning Heck Broke Lose
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<blockquote data-quote="Confused" data-source="post: 645527" data-attributes="member: 18100"><p>My mind and body are just in a tornado rite now, so Im just mixed up. Been so sick I haven't barely been able to get out of bed. I realize I am having panic attacks, among other issues and I just dont know how much more I can take. Havent been down to care for grandpa( called old caretaker to help but she only came once so far, not today and im calling her for tomorrow too. ) and reason my dad cant/wont is because my dad is ill himself really bad at the moment with his legs in pain. But even before that they fought so bad he just limited his care for him. But yeah, still me after they fought. So thank you all for worrying, I wanted to give you updates as they happened. </p><p></p><p>So daughter has been refusing to eat because she says she does NOT want to go with her dad and told me she will eat when I tell her shes not going.( Only words beside" get out "spoken to me) She says if she goes with him she will run away. She told my dad she was willing to go to the public school close by, all day no matter. But she couldnt do 2 1/2hrs and no P.E but yet all of sudden she wants P.E. ( for years she wanted out of it) and stay all day, plus add she blamed me for her not able to go to school because I am not working, being fat, etc (I embarrass her). So how is her going to the nearby school here -living with me going to change, if its all my fault? Even online she cant hack because she lives with me? Our relationship will never be the same, I tried again to reach out to her and she yelled at me to "get out". <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> I know things take time, and it never is the same, but my daughter holds a grudge and NEVER lets go, She has grudges over little things from years ago from, friends, family etc). Also she has missed more school and assignments then being in, and she now has to re-peat the 9th grade. If she does Keystone, she can just start and not have to repeat per say and "catch up". </p><p></p><p>My son is begging NOT to go with his dad either, his grades even picked up at school because another boy in the class tells him" hey do your work " all day when he notice my son starting to not pay attention! No one asked that boy to do that as far as I know, smart kid. My sons threats still are there, and today he had an hr rage which didnt help me or my dads health out. More damage to add the rest. Im so exhausted from these rages, now add daughter. I love my kids with my life. I dont know what to do anymore. Im so drained, so done, so hurt, so scared." I told my kids Im sorry for not working and other things that embarrass them, it does embarrass me too. Plus, I tried to handle them the best I could with all of our issues, and my son with his rages, besides my health, besides when I was in school, besides when I did look no one hired me, Im sorry for not understanding them or what I could do to help them/us. I cant change anything in the past no matter how hard I try and things makes me sad and I wish I did things differently."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Confused, post: 645527, member: 18100"] My mind and body are just in a tornado rite now, so Im just mixed up. Been so sick I haven't barely been able to get out of bed. I realize I am having panic attacks, among other issues and I just dont know how much more I can take. Havent been down to care for grandpa( called old caretaker to help but she only came once so far, not today and im calling her for tomorrow too. ) and reason my dad cant/wont is because my dad is ill himself really bad at the moment with his legs in pain. But even before that they fought so bad he just limited his care for him. But yeah, still me after they fought. So thank you all for worrying, I wanted to give you updates as they happened. So daughter has been refusing to eat because she says she does NOT want to go with her dad and told me she will eat when I tell her shes not going.( Only words beside" get out "spoken to me) She says if she goes with him she will run away. She told my dad she was willing to go to the public school close by, all day no matter. But she couldnt do 2 1/2hrs and no P.E but yet all of sudden she wants P.E. ( for years she wanted out of it) and stay all day, plus add she blamed me for her not able to go to school because I am not working, being fat, etc (I embarrass her). So how is her going to the nearby school here -living with me going to change, if its all my fault? Even online she cant hack because she lives with me? Our relationship will never be the same, I tried again to reach out to her and she yelled at me to "get out". :( I know things take time, and it never is the same, but my daughter holds a grudge and NEVER lets go, She has grudges over little things from years ago from, friends, family etc). Also she has missed more school and assignments then being in, and she now has to re-peat the 9th grade. If she does Keystone, she can just start and not have to repeat per say and "catch up". My son is begging NOT to go with his dad either, his grades even picked up at school because another boy in the class tells him" hey do your work " all day when he notice my son starting to not pay attention! No one asked that boy to do that as far as I know, smart kid. My sons threats still are there, and today he had an hr rage which didnt help me or my dads health out. More damage to add the rest. Im so exhausted from these rages, now add daughter. I love my kids with my life. I dont know what to do anymore. Im so drained, so done, so hurt, so scared." I told my kids Im sorry for not working and other things that embarrass them, it does embarrass me too. Plus, I tried to handle them the best I could with all of our issues, and my son with his rages, besides my health, besides when I was in school, besides when I did look no one hired me, Im sorry for not understanding them or what I could do to help them/us. I cant change anything in the past no matter how hard I try and things makes me sad and I wish I did things differently." [/QUOTE]
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