I woke up to my difficult child pounding on the front door at 3 a.m. this morning. I wasn't surprised but boy, was I mad. I went to the door---he said "I don't have anywhere to go," and I said, "well you can't stay here--I'll take you to McDonald's." He said there aren't any 24-hour McDonald's in town, and I said I'll take you somewhere that is open, and told him to meet me around at the garage. I did not let him in the house. As I changed, SO and I talked about where and decided a 24-hour truck stop at an interstate exit would work. We got in the car and I told him where I was taking him. He started all of the usual---What am I going to do? I have nowhere to go? Everybody has to have help when they get out of jail. Blah, blah, blah." I am proud of how I handled the whole thing. I was already mad, so I didn't do any of the mommy stuff. I told him his life is completely up to him. I told him I am done. I told him you need to get honest, quit using drugs and stealing, get a place to live and get a job. You could go in to the last rehab and say he's sorry and ask them to take him back. Start somewhere. Wherever you decide. I am done (I said it again). He said "well Dad has helped me but you haven't." Well, that flew all over me. Really? I said "Okay." He asked me to take him to his dad's house right then and I refused. Just kept on repeating himself. I said "I don't believe a word that comes out of your mouth." I was talking very straight to him, direct, very firm. He didn't want to go to the truck stop he wanted to go to a laundromat (??) so I took him there. When we got there he kept on talking and I so I said, "Get out of the car." He didn't so, I said it again. I think he was panicked and shocked that I was not participating any more. At one point I said you can turn and go in a new direction with your life at any time. He made fun of that statement, saying it is "religious bs that doesn't mean anything. What does that mean anyway?" I didn't argue. That circular distracting talk---I'm done with that too. I said I'm not going to spend anytime figuring out who shot John. No more discussion. Let me know when you're settled and I'll bring you your clothes. Don't ever, ever come to my house in the middle of the night again. He said I lied about the last rehab place when I told him it was a re-entry program. I said whatever. When he finally did get out of the car, his parting words were "F___ you." I did not respond. You know, friends, I didn't react beyond my reaction to being awakened in the middle of the night. I didn't go there this time. I didn't cry, I didn't beg, I didn't plead, or reason, or argue or anything. I just said what I wanted to say, and had to say, and that was it. I was not going to do one thing different. I was finally ready. I went back to sleep, went to Alanon this morning as usual and to church, and then out to lunch with a bunch from church. My normal routine. And I feel good. The sun is shining, it's 60 degrees, and my SO and I are about to go for a long walk outside. I have reached a new place today. A new level. This may be "detachment with mad" instead of "detachment with love" (Lol, not sure). But whatever it is, I think it is the next step toward letting go and letting God. And THAT is right where I want to be. This morning I texted my ex and gave him a heads up that he may be next since he is evidently the golden-haired boy. (lol). Better him than me. He said if he comes to his house he is calling the police. I'm sure it's not over, his working on me. But I feel good today, and one of the reasons is the amazing words of strength, courage and detachment I read on this site. Thanks to you all.