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General Parenting
Last Night's therapist Appointment
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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 484108"><p>Daisy, actually I think that it's a little bit of both. The therapist feels that difficult child is extremely insighful about his behavioral decisions. He was saying last night that for a 12 year old to come to this conclusion on his own is really good. I've been saying this (that the way he behaves is a choice) for years, but I guess until difficult child realizes it on his own my saying that his behaviors are a choice really doesn't mean a whole lot. It's sort of like the alcoholic. I can tell someone that they have a drinking problem, but until that person realizes on their own that they need help my saying it means nothing. Does that make sense? </p><p></p><p> I also feel that in some ways he is trying to diminish his behavioral choices by saying that he behaves at school because he is liked and respected there, like you said, making the bad behavior all my fault. He has done that for years. It's always someone else's fault that he got into trouble. It's easy child's fault because easy child was bothering him. It's my fault because I'm just a mean old mom and that if I gave him everything that he wanted he would not have to behave the way that he does. It's husband's fault for siding with me and not giving in to his demands. It's almost like he feels that he doesn't have to put the effort into his behavior at home because we're his family and we're supposed to love him no matter what, so we need to just suck it up and put up with it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 484108"] Daisy, actually I think that it's a little bit of both. The therapist feels that difficult child is extremely insighful about his behavioral decisions. He was saying last night that for a 12 year old to come to this conclusion on his own is really good. I've been saying this (that the way he behaves is a choice) for years, but I guess until difficult child realizes it on his own my saying that his behaviors are a choice really doesn't mean a whole lot. It's sort of like the alcoholic. I can tell someone that they have a drinking problem, but until that person realizes on their own that they need help my saying it means nothing. Does that make sense? I also feel that in some ways he is trying to diminish his behavioral choices by saying that he behaves at school because he is liked and respected there, like you said, making the bad behavior all my fault. He has done that for years. It's always someone else's fault that he got into trouble. It's easy child's fault because easy child was bothering him. It's my fault because I'm just a mean old mom and that if I gave him everything that he wanted he would not have to behave the way that he does. It's husband's fault for siding with me and not giving in to his demands. It's almost like he feels that he doesn't have to put the effort into his behavior at home because we're his family and we're supposed to love him no matter what, so we need to just suck it up and put up with it. [/QUOTE]
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