Late night phone call

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Jun 5, 2016.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Copa asked how my son was doing...... Well I have to say I am really not sure at this point!! Don't you hate those phone calls that wake you up at night? Last night the house phone rang when we were sound asleep. I got up and answered it at midnight. It was a good friend of ours.

    This friend has a son who also has major issues and coincidentally his son and my son were in the same program a couple of years ago. So the two boys know each other. He had just gotten a phone call from his son who was worried because he had been communicating with my son on FB and my son sent him a picture of a gun with a statement "I am just drunk enough to do it!". So his son was very worried that my son was going to kill himself!!!

    Oh ugh. What to do. I hated the thought of calling the police for a well being check. Decided first I would try and get a hold of my son. So I called him and left a message to call me. I texted him as well and then started trying to figure out his address. Luckily he did call me back,

    He sounded ok. I told him what happened and he said no he didn't sent that picture. He didn't sound drunk but I know that I really can't tell over the phone if he has been drinking or not. He said he was fine and lying in bed.

    Now I know my son can be very very provocative and this other boy is very gullible and my son could have been pushing the limits. Granted totally inappropriate and awful but does fit with how my son is.

    I do think if my son was really suicidal he would tell me as he has told me when he has been in the past. In any case I did reach out and let him know I love him and that is all I can do. I also do not think he has access to a real gun but does to pellet guns that look real.

    Anyway I called my friend back to ease his mind and also to tell his son he did the right thing by calling us,

    Needless to say it took me a long time to fall back asleep last night!

    My son did move back to the dessert and is staying at a friends watching their place while they are on vacation. I just hope he is not too isolated and is really doing ok.

  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I hate this for you! You have worked so hard to detach and these phone calls suck us right back in.
  3. worried sick mother

    worried sick mother Active Member

    I have been told by a psychiatrist and a counselor that when someone really wants to commit suicide that they don't tell anyone, they just do it and there's nothing anyone can do to stop them if they want it bad enough. My son would threaten suicide when I would confront him about using drugs, this is before I knew for sure he was using drugs. I know how scary that must have been for you. Especially with the possibility of alcohol involved. That's also good that his friend would tell someone, some friends don't. Glad your son was okay but that stinks about no sleep and worry!!
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  4. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    I emailed my son this morning and asked him to check in with me. He did send me a nice message that he is doing fine and was not sure what that was about last night. So at least I know he is ok.
  5. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    You know Nomad has a thread about breaking confidentiality about our difficult kids, and this came up--the possibility of suicide. That that would be the exception to breach of confidentiality. All of us agreed.

    The parents did the right thing and they and you handled it perfectly, I think.
    So, TL, what do you make of your son's denial?

    My son would say something like that, because he can be a drama queen when he is feeling sorry for himself. He is rarely like that anymore, but can be.

    I guess I do not know what I would do--and am unsure what there would be to do. I think I would want to find out if there was or was not such a picture, and if there was, I would think about what my proper response should be.

    But then again, if there was a picture, and he is now totally self-supporting, what can you do? I, for you, do not like either that he has gone back to the dessert.

    What is it about these guys that keep cycling through the same set of limited options, over and over again, without thinking there could be another possibility? Like my favorite, college. Or even deciding to go to a brand new place with new people and new possibility. I know AA calls that a geographic, but I call it possibility, the possibility of changing.
  6. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    I strongly suspect there was a picture and that he said what the other kid said he said. My son likes to be very provocative and the other kid is both very gullible and unsophisticated and who knows why my son did this. I think there is also a good chance he was drinking. None of this makes me happy....but I am relieved that he seems to be ok. I will be glad when his friend gets back in a week, because being alone in this apartment in the desert is worrisome. I really don't think there is anything else I can do. And I am proud of the other kid because he has major issues as well and I think he did the right thing.
  7. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Oh my TL! What a thing to wake up to. I can only imagine how you must have felt. So far away from him. Helpless and worried!!

    So glad everything turned out okay. Who knows what it really was but at least for now it's okay.

    Hugs to you!
  8. Ironbutterfly

    Ironbutterfly Active Member

    TL- Sorry about the last night phone call and the worries. Glad son is in contact and seems to be doing good as far as you can tell.