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Latest on 32 yo son
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 618957" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>He's 32. He's edging toward middle age. He needs to learn to get motivated on his own, without you funding him from place to place. Now if you truly want to do it, there are no right or wrong rules in this. It's just that the more we give in, the more they expect us too. And they know how to manipulate us. Your son knows that you want him to work so he is using that. In fact, he is not going to live on the streets. He knows how to find places to sleep. </p><p></p><p>I worked in a homeless shelter once. You'd be surprised at how many of the frequent visitors did not want us to help them find housing because that meant they had to follow rules, such as no drugs and no coming in drunk. No selling drugs. No illegal behavior. They preferred going from one church to the next church...we had night-by-night shelters and they got free vouchers to take the train to the next shelter that would let them sleep overnight. During the day they would hang out in the library or 24/7 stores or gas stations. </p><p></p><p>We were not supposed to ask the visitors for their stories. Sometimes they blurted them out though. I don't know how much of what t hey said to us was true, but they basically would talk about how their family threw them out due to their continuous drug use. Usually it was parents first, then aunt, then cousin, then moved on to best friend, acquaintance, nice old lady they met, etc. They openly admitted they did not want to stop or that they had walked out of 12 rehabs.</p><p></p><p>If your son wants a place to live, there is housing in your town. And there are shelters. He can choose to follow the rules or decide to live on the streets, but he does have a choice. He doesn't need to travel 1500 miles to find shelter. He is playing you.</p><p></p><p>Having said all that, I still feel it is just fine if you decide to pay again. We all have to travel our hellish journey on our own terms. But your son being older...how long is he going to remain dependent? Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>Hugs!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 618957, member: 1550"] He's 32. He's edging toward middle age. He needs to learn to get motivated on his own, without you funding him from place to place. Now if you truly want to do it, there are no right or wrong rules in this. It's just that the more we give in, the more they expect us too. And they know how to manipulate us. Your son knows that you want him to work so he is using that. In fact, he is not going to live on the streets. He knows how to find places to sleep. I worked in a homeless shelter once. You'd be surprised at how many of the frequent visitors did not want us to help them find housing because that meant they had to follow rules, such as no drugs and no coming in drunk. No selling drugs. No illegal behavior. They preferred going from one church to the next church...we had night-by-night shelters and they got free vouchers to take the train to the next shelter that would let them sleep overnight. During the day they would hang out in the library or 24/7 stores or gas stations. We were not supposed to ask the visitors for their stories. Sometimes they blurted them out though. I don't know how much of what t hey said to us was true, but they basically would talk about how their family threw them out due to their continuous drug use. Usually it was parents first, then aunt, then cousin, then moved on to best friend, acquaintance, nice old lady they met, etc. They openly admitted they did not want to stop or that they had walked out of 12 rehabs. If your son wants a place to live, there is housing in your town. And there are shelters. He can choose to follow the rules or decide to live on the streets, but he does have a choice. He doesn't need to travel 1500 miles to find shelter. He is playing you. Having said all that, I still feel it is just fine if you decide to pay again. We all have to travel our hellish journey on our own terms. But your son being older...how long is he going to remain dependent? Know what I mean?? Hugs!!! [/QUOTE]
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