Latest on the Boy

[Kathy813]

pasa, you did exactly the right thing. We were told at a NAMI meeting that we should refuse to take the patient home in those circumstances. They said that the hospital was responsible for finding the proper aftercare but it was easier for them to palm off the patient on the family. So it was important to refuse to take the person back into the home to force the hospital to be responsible for an aftercare plan.

I am so sorry that he threatened you. I'm glad that you sought out protection. Do you have a working alarm system? Is there any chance he has a key? We thought we had locked our daughter out and found out later that she was getting in through the basement doors which had different locks and she had a key we didn't know about.

I am not surprised to hear about the lack of mental health services in Texas. It is the same here in Georgia. Everyone wants lower taxes but don't seem to realize that it comes at a price.

~Kathy

 

[pasajes4]

I do have a wireless alarm system so that the power can not be cut. He does not know the code and he does not have a key. My brother is going to stay at the house with me . I am not going to lie. I am scared of him.

 

[Childofmine]

Pas I hope you have had a better day today. We're thinking of you and we care about you.

 

[recoveringenabler]

Thinking of you too Pas.....

 

[Scent of Cedar *]

Possible for you to update, pasa?

If not, know we are thinking of you, and of son, too.

I was relieved to hear brother is coming to stay for these first nights. It is good for you to have someone who loves you both there with you.

Cedar

 

[Scent of Cedar *]

Pasa, I wanted to add this about when daughter had been beat, and was so sick. We came within a hairbreadth of driving up to get her.

We did not.

She feels betrayed by us for those decisions we made then to this day. But she did receive the services she needed. She did begin then, to reparent her daughter.

Today, she is making unbelievable progress back to herself. She has brought her family together ~ all of them. She believes in herself now, not us.

You are doing the right thing for your son, pasa.

Whether it turns out for the good or for the bad, you have given him this chance to recover himself, or not.

I am sorry for the pain of it.

I heard the underlying joy, heard the rightness you felt in those posts, when he was first released.

Cedar

 

[pasajes4]

I am getting phone call after phone call from son and staff. I will not back down. I have done so in the past and each time the outcome got worse. I am 62 and I can not do this anymore. My health can't take it. I want to live my remaining time on this earth in peace.

 

[InsaneCdn]

You are right to not back down. It is their joint responsibility to resolve this... staff, and your son. NOT you.

 

[Copabanana]

I am getting phone call after phone call from son and staff. I will not back down.

It is what it is. The program made their decision to discharge (which they can always revisit) and your son chose to threaten your life. Your responsibility is clear in this: to protect yourself and the security of your home.

How would it benefit your son to return to your care and home where he feels so powerful and omnipotent that he can verbally contemplate ending your life and feel no consequence?

You have learned from the past what the consequence will be to backing down. Do not. If you need to turn off the phone, do so.

The program is being irresponsible to repeatedly call you and to allow your son to do so. One "no" is enough.

I cannot believe that a reputable program would entertain the idea to discharge their resident to the care of someone they have threatened to kill.

PASA, you are very strong. Do whatever you need to to insulate yourself from this pressure.

Whether you are 32 or 62 you cannot take your son back.

Let the program do their job. They want you to take responsibility so that they do not have to. If you sign the paper, they are off the hook legally. If you do not sign the paper they are on the hook legally if your son hurts somebody or is hurt.

If you do not sign they will find a place for him or keep him where he is. They know he should not be released. They are showing their hand by their desperation. This is a poker game. They are bluffing. Do not give in. Do not let them off the hook.

 

[TerryJ2]

Pasa, how painful.
You are so strong.
Big sigh.
I wish I could help.

 

[AppleCori]

Pasa,

I am so sorry. What a nightmare.

When my X was in the hospital last fall, the staff called his relatives (including my adult kids) to try to get someone to come get hi and take over responsibility. They also refused, though it was hard. In the end, he was transferred to a Mental Health Facility and got put in touch with a lot of services he probably wouldn't have been able to get on his own.

We are so grateful that he is finally getting what he has needed (but been until this point) unwilling to accept.

Hang in there. This is the right thing.

 

[pasajes4]

They are running into brick walls because of his aggression. No place wants to take him. I certainly do not.

 

[dstc_99]

It sucks. I was there with my mom a few years ago. Her mental health was bad, her physical health was bad, and she had two broken legs. No one wanted her. Hospitals said she could be managed at home. Mental health said she needed too much medical care. She wound up in a nursing home because I convinced them her mental issues combined with the broken legs made her too much to handle at home.

I hate the mental health system. I wish you luck. Stay strong.

 

[SeekingStrength]

Pasa,

Holding you in my thoughts tonight and hoping for peace soon.

My husband visited with a friend of his on the phone tonight who told him when his dad had dementia , they had to scramble to find another hospital to take his dad each time there was a medical issue. The last hospitals did not want him again.

The scenarios are different, but it made me think of you.

Glad you are holding tight for what is best for your son and for you. Praying for a good placement for your son right now.

Hugs,
SS