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LEE vs HEE
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<blockquote data-quote="HaoZi" data-source="post: 389266"><p>I've gotten better at it, but I'm far from perfect myself. Sometimes reminding yourself that they're struggling with it, too, helps. Knowing that they're doing this because they're frustrated but can't quite tell you why so you have to guess, and sometimes the guessing alone helps redirect things. Like taking care of a baby in a way, when they can't tell you if they're hungry, tired, too warm, too cold, etc. So you have to ease back a bit and ask them outright what might help, and be specific. "Are you hungry? Tired? Do you need a moment to sort your thoughts so I can help you?" that kind of thing. Every time you can take it down a notch is progress, and the more often you do the more they learn you will give that moment, that quick snack, that comfort, the more they trust you to help them. Does my kid still escalate to shoe throwing? Sometimes, but right now I consider a 20 minute argument with shoe removal a vast improvement over hours long tantrums involving total destruction.</p><p>And yes, sometimes just being emotionally numb for a while does help get started on that road.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HaoZi, post: 389266"] I've gotten better at it, but I'm far from perfect myself. Sometimes reminding yourself that they're struggling with it, too, helps. Knowing that they're doing this because they're frustrated but can't quite tell you why so you have to guess, and sometimes the guessing alone helps redirect things. Like taking care of a baby in a way, when they can't tell you if they're hungry, tired, too warm, too cold, etc. So you have to ease back a bit and ask them outright what might help, and be specific. "Are you hungry? Tired? Do you need a moment to sort your thoughts so I can help you?" that kind of thing. Every time you can take it down a notch is progress, and the more often you do the more they learn you will give that moment, that quick snack, that comfort, the more they trust you to help them. Does my kid still escalate to shoe throwing? Sometimes, but right now I consider a 20 minute argument with shoe removal a vast improvement over hours long tantrums involving total destruction. And yes, sometimes just being emotionally numb for a while does help get started on that road. [/QUOTE]
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