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<blockquote data-quote="Im a Believer" data-source="post: 355626" data-attributes="member: 6448"><p>I just got thru with an 11 month battle in court.</p><p> </p><p>My ex was seeking custody of my youngest (easy child#6). Money reasons. He has never sought custody of any other of the kids due to them being alot of work - in fact he hasn't been involved with any of them really until I sought modification. </p><p> </p><p>His claim was that my older children have substance issues and he needed to get her away from my home because I do not "control" the situation.</p><p> </p><p>He also claimed my husband (her step father) was being inappropriate.</p><p> </p><p>Now that the motions have been put to stop and we finally had our day in court - the judge got sick of hearing the conflicting stories.</p><p> </p><p>He asked for my easy child#6 (age 16) year old to be brought in and he questioned her in chambers and asked what she wanted.</p><p> </p><p>She put to rest all the ridiculous accusations against my husband - she did express her concern about her older sibblings and their drug issues.</p><p> </p><p>She has always wanted joint custody but I did not see that working since her father and I do not communicate and it is not a postive relationship but that is what the judge ordered and after a lecture from him to me - he wanted to know why I haven't "controled" my older children.</p><p> </p><p>I sat there like a deer looking in the headlights.</p><p> </p><p>Three of my children (the ones that are the difficult child's) were abused by their father - none of them have a relationship with him and haven't for several years. He was not involved in their issues and I dealt with them all on my own.</p><p> </p><p>The Judge didn't care about that I the decision that was made was that my ex and I have joint physical custody of my 16 year old but the state has legal custody of her.</p><p> </p><p>My 18 year old (legal age in my state is 19) is in my custody.</p><p> </p><p>He has not seen his dad in about 3 years.</p><p> </p><p>The Judge has ordered my 18 year old - monthly drug tests & drug counseling - if he tests postitive the state will not allow me to have my daughter. Because the state has legal custody - he can have this control.</p><p> </p><p>This has sent me into a tail spin of relapse in my codependency along with some issues with an older child and he is homeless.</p><p> </p><p>I do not allow my older children to live with me.</p><p> </p><p>It is only the 2 minor children.</p><p> </p><p>Just as it has been the past 10 years - I am alone dealing with the drug issues of an 18 year old and nobody has any answers - I am the one held accountable for the actions of a person who in most states is an adult.</p><p> </p><p>You may say - throw the 18 year old out.</p><p> </p><p>Again - in my state he is a minor and I can be charged with child neglect.</p><p> </p><p>I have been thru this before with my older children and the adult age being 19.</p><p> </p><p>Any advice or words of wisdom?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Im a Believer, post: 355626, member: 6448"] I just got thru with an 11 month battle in court. My ex was seeking custody of my youngest (easy child#6). Money reasons. He has never sought custody of any other of the kids due to them being alot of work - in fact he hasn't been involved with any of them really until I sought modification. His claim was that my older children have substance issues and he needed to get her away from my home because I do not "control" the situation. He also claimed my husband (her step father) was being inappropriate. Now that the motions have been put to stop and we finally had our day in court - the judge got sick of hearing the conflicting stories. He asked for my easy child#6 (age 16) year old to be brought in and he questioned her in chambers and asked what she wanted. She put to rest all the ridiculous accusations against my husband - she did express her concern about her older sibblings and their drug issues. She has always wanted joint custody but I did not see that working since her father and I do not communicate and it is not a postive relationship but that is what the judge ordered and after a lecture from him to me - he wanted to know why I haven't "controled" my older children. I sat there like a deer looking in the headlights. Three of my children (the ones that are the difficult child's) were abused by their father - none of them have a relationship with him and haven't for several years. He was not involved in their issues and I dealt with them all on my own. The Judge didn't care about that I the decision that was made was that my ex and I have joint physical custody of my 16 year old but the state has legal custody of her. My 18 year old (legal age in my state is 19) is in my custody. He has not seen his dad in about 3 years. The Judge has ordered my 18 year old - monthly drug tests & drug counseling - if he tests postitive the state will not allow me to have my daughter. Because the state has legal custody - he can have this control. This has sent me into a tail spin of relapse in my codependency along with some issues with an older child and he is homeless. I do not allow my older children to live with me. It is only the 2 minor children. Just as it has been the past 10 years - I am alone dealing with the drug issues of an 18 year old and nobody has any answers - I am the one held accountable for the actions of a person who in most states is an adult. You may say - throw the 18 year old out. Again - in my state he is a minor and I can be charged with child neglect. I have been thru this before with my older children and the adult age being 19. Any advice or words of wisdom? [/QUOTE]
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