Less difficult child psychiatric, more practical solutions

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Sep 25, 2007.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So, I just blocked text msging from my cell ph, because easy child always goes over her plan, and we are taking away her ph ea night at 9 p.m.
    I just blocked games on MY phone because difficult child kept stealing it to play games--to the tune of $94 a mo!!!!

    I've decided that aside from the sneakiness, this is a "kid" issue, not a difficult child issue.

    Sometimes everything seems like a difficult child issue, and frankly, if my difficult child weren't so angry and violent, I'd blow off a lot of his activities. That's something I have to think about a bit more.
     
  2. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Terry,

    I agree - many times husband reminds me that this is typical kid behavior out of kt or wm. He also comments that it may be magnified 100 time over, it's still a typical 13 y/o antic.

    It's hard for me to remember that.

    Of late, I re-implemented the one tantrum a day rule. When I was so very ill earlier this summer I'd totally forgotten that one with kt. It makes sense in that it works. We remind kt in the morning she only gets one blowout a day. She can decide when to use that time.

    It's fun to remind her.
     
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Does she always have a blowout? And does she only have one? That's really interesting.
     
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Terry,

    Most days this works - Residential Treatment Center (RTC) started this while kt was there in placement; they noticed that kt generally melted down during the big transition from school back to Residential Treatment Center (RTC). So they set up a safe place & a general time of day that she could really let it out.

    Here at home, kt has a meltdown 4 out of 7 days a week. That's down from every day, several times a day.

    In the meantime, staff (husband & I here) worked with kt - on her anxieties & fears that generally set her off. Mostly we redirect or keep her hands & mind busy. And remind her that 13 y/o who have "tantrums" have no business with a cell phone or computer in her room, etc, etc, etc....

    Again, this works sporadically. And I'm beginning to recognize that monthly "hormonal monster" that contributes to this.

    Hey - give it a shot. Can't hurt.
     
  5. lynnp

    lynnp New Member

    We've tried reminding our 12 year old that his friends are most certainly not having violent rages. He doesn't seem to believe us but that could be defensiveness on his part. I feel guilty doing it because it feels like belittling him sometimes but the reality is that it's the truth! Sigh...
     
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I wish I could do that, except two of difficult child's closest friends are in counseling for anger issues!!! Ack.
    They're not adopted, either.
     
  7. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Terry, I understand what you're saying. Especially with difficult child 1, I have to remind myself that some of his inappropriate behaviors are just typical teen behaviors!!! WFEN
     
  8. WNC Gal

    WNC Gal New Member

    And of course we also have to be careful not to view our easy child's behaviors/attitudes as potentially difficult child.... they are entitled to the typical kid/teen attitudes & behaviors without their stressed out parents fearing that yet another child will be requiring extensive psychiatric care!! :smile:

    Sometimes I do have to tear myself away from this forum and piles of technical books on psychiatric issues for difficult child to read some more typical books for my OTHER kids such as Parenting with Love and Logic, How To Simplify Your Life with Kids...etc.
     
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