Me: difficult child has turned 21 and so far, so good. He has a new job with a new company working commercial landscape. He had worked for a small home landscaping company every summer since he was 16, he is now working for a bigger company and making higher wages. He loves it though it was hard for him to leave his old boss who was a really good to him. He had a bad allergic reaction to hay yesterday and now has an epi pen and a new inhaler. He is heading up to his old college town tonight to celebrate his roommate's 21 birthday and he has an appointment to meet with the dean tomorrow to try to turn his F's (from his last semester) into "W's" so he can get into the local branch of the State University in the fall. I found a list of his goals in life and they are admirable but incredibly challenging. They include earning large sums of money in the summers, taking 20 credits a semester with a 3.8 GPA, landing plumb internships, joining school clubs, all the while working and living and supporting himself in a 1 bedroom apartment. Can it be done? Sure, Can it be done by him? I don't think so. I'd never say it to him, but it is unrealistic. He couldn't pull off a 2.0 under the best of circumstances, how does he think he can take 20 credit hours, support himself, work and complete 6-7 semesters in just 2 .5 years? I know it's not my problem and I will support him however I can and I will zip my lip. This is a kid who has too much self esteem. Gosh, I hate even writing that. There are times when challenging himself has worked for him; but most of the time - it is his overconfidence that is his downfall. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I hate writing it. If I say it to H, he will think I don't believe in difficult child or -worse-he will think that I want him to do something about it; like bring difficult child down a notch. So, I am whispering it to you guys. It's this fantasyland thing that scares me. Because he sets the bar too high and when he can't meet his own expectations; everything goes to Hades - crashes and burns. He completely self destructs so he doesn't have to face it rather than readjusting his goals. He had a brief period - Jan 09-August '10 while in counseling - that it all came together so he thinks he can bring that back at will. It's like he is too smart for his own good, but not smart enough to actually pull it all off. I don't know if I making sense. I am worried about him going to college town apt tonight and not coming back or that he is reigniting his old romance. I know summer will be a challenge and I bracing for it. I know he is smoking cigs and drinking and I suspect he could be using pot - but I have nothing to base that on except anecdotal reasons. He intended to get his CDL license for his job but decided not to at the last minute. He said it was the logistics of coordinating the written test, road test and physical, but I suspect it was just the physical which includes drug testing. I haven't seen him altered but I don't really check. Not my job. He's home, he's safe for now and he is a cocky PITA but nothing abnormal for a 21 year old MALE. ugh I guess I know that in the next few months he will either get his life back on track or he won't. Sink or swim time. If he doesn't; he will need to build a life that doesn't include college. It will be time to push him out of the nest. I am hopeful he will grasp this opportunity, but -as always - bracing for that other shoe. Both PCs are well, h is well. My job is a disaster right now, my brothers are warring with each other and I am stuck in the middle and the only thing they agree upon is their disdain and contempt for me. It's only going to get uglier - but I have a difficult child - so I can handle ANYTHING. Drawing boundaries and setting limits with them too, the difficult child boot camp has taught me well. There should be a secret difficult child mom handshake or military rank - even an award like the Purple Heart for moms wounded in battle. What's new in your world?