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General Parenting
Letter from Justin - ??? Read between the lines ladies
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 136511" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I, too, think Justin is moving toward typical teen behaviors. It also seems as though he is making progress.</p><p> </p><p>From my perspective, I think that now is the time for all three of you to identify how you have been glued together in deference to the abnormal behavior patterns of your Dad, Justin's Mom and then the results of Justin acting out on the stressors. The "good news" is that Justin knows that you both love him and want the best for him. The "not so good news" is that you and Grandma both turn to Justin to meet your needs</p><p>emotionally....that is a strain that a teenager doesn't need.</p><p> </p><p>I'm thrilled that you are working (although perhaps living to work may be the case instead of working to live?) and addressing your addiction issues. It would be great if you found an adult social activity to widen your horizons a bit. Even bowling once a week would be a big change</p><p>and reduce your isolationist tendencies. Grandma needs to be involved</p><p>with a peer group or a volunteer group so that she, too, will be capable of letting Justin move toward adulthood.</p><p> </p><p>My post is a bit presumptious, David. I realize that. on the other hand, my experience indicates to me that it is probably a fairly accurate picture.</p><p>My husband and I have "lost" our identies many times over the past years due to the absorption and exhaustion that comes from difficult child stress. We <em>still</em></p><p>have to work at separating from the kids. Owning our own business we</p><p>have also worked seven days a week too many times.</p><p> </p><p>It is not good for you, your child or anyone else for you to rush through time keeping busy without taking the time to work through who <em>you are</em></p><p>and what <em>you like </em>and what <em>you need</em>. Your search for self will lay a path by example for Justin to find who he wants to be as an adult. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 136511, member: 35"] I, too, think Justin is moving toward typical teen behaviors. It also seems as though he is making progress. From my perspective, I think that now is the time for all three of you to identify how you have been glued together in deference to the abnormal behavior patterns of your Dad, Justin's Mom and then the results of Justin acting out on the stressors. The "good news" is that Justin knows that you both love him and want the best for him. The "not so good news" is that you and Grandma both turn to Justin to meet your needs emotionally....that is a strain that a teenager doesn't need. I'm thrilled that you are working (although perhaps living to work may be the case instead of working to live?) and addressing your addiction issues. It would be great if you found an adult social activity to widen your horizons a bit. Even bowling once a week would be a big change and reduce your isolationist tendencies. Grandma needs to be involved with a peer group or a volunteer group so that she, too, will be capable of letting Justin move toward adulthood. My post is a bit presumptious, David. I realize that. on the other hand, my experience indicates to me that it is probably a fairly accurate picture. My husband and I have "lost" our identies many times over the past years due to the absorption and exhaustion that comes from difficult child stress. We [I]still[/I] have to work at separating from the kids. Owning our own business we have also worked seven days a week too many times. It is not good for you, your child or anyone else for you to rush through time keeping busy without taking the time to work through who [I]you are[/I] and what [I]you like [/I]and what [I]you need[/I]. Your search for self will lay a path by example for Justin to find who he wants to be as an adult. DDD [/QUOTE]
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Letter from Justin - ??? Read between the lines ladies
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