Yes, I agree it is a "hope-filled" letter...I just so want for young difficult child to set aside that temporary "feel good" so that his beautiful lil family can be loved and provided for in the way they deserve.
Young difficult child's oldest child, Joey, will be 5 yrs old in Novemember. He goes to pre-k now...and I know what it is like to not have a dad as this was my situation growing up. I don't want him to internalise the lack therein from a father as meaning that there is something wrong or inadequate with him. I didn't feel worthy of being loved well by a man as a result of being abandandoned by my bio dad. I was 17 when I met my father...and like young difficult child, he was an alcoholic. A very selfish man who just expected me to easily forgive his absence in my life. But I lived those years of absence feeling unloved by a parent. I don't want Joey to experience that same kind of pain.
Young difficult child also has 2 beautiful little girls. Julie will be 3 in December. She was definitely a "daddy's girl" before he was sent to prison. Their youngest will be 6 months old in Novemeber. daughter in law has taken the baby to see young difficult child in prison several times now. The baby is absolutely beautiful.
So, it is not so much for me that I want young difficult child to succeed. Yes, it would kill my heart to have him locked up again but not so much for the everyday pain I would experience but moreso what his children would be living without and how that would make them feel about themselves longterm.
Buddy and Mattsmom...Thank you so much for offering to write young difficult child again.
Buddy, unfortunately my daughter in law (who I DO love dearly) sigh, is the suspicious type. Yes, she actually thinks you might be one of "those women" who is attracted and wants to start a relationship with a prisoner. Gosh she is silly. I tried to explain to her that you are simply trying to be a friend to me and a caring "pen-pal" to young difficult child...nothing more. So looks like young difficult child will be a little lonelier in prison because of his jealous wife. She is young.
Thank you all for caring about me and my young difficult child.
He is very dear to my heart...and Yes, recovering enabler, I did tear up as I read young difficult child's letter aloud to husband the first time I read it through. Young difficult child is the middle child and youngest son and did not connect as well to my husband as oldest son. Young difficult child is made like me, not husband. Plus, I have some guilt feelings as young difficult child was the only child that I went back to work after just having had him two weeks prior. I feel he did not get the nurturing from infancy that my other 2 children got. Plus I have read that the middle child is more vulnerable to ending up in prison at higher risk for various negative things...I am fairly protective of him from others as I honestly feel that my young difficult child has a VERY good heart underneath his sub abuse addictions and mood disorder.
Thanks again for the care,
LMS
