Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Letter to difficult child
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 629546" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Oh COM, I know how you are feeling right now, we all do, we've been there........ and many times too. I am so sorry, it does hurt like the dickens, I know.</p><p></p><p>If you are indeed in the FOG, it is not a step back or 1000 steps back, it is an internal fight to NOT behave in the old ways while the NEW ways attempt to gain strength...........it is a battle going on inside of you which produces the FOG, a place of non action and internal turmoil as your maternal desires clash with the truth of the situation. It is a part of recovery, it is not a relapse, it is actually, in my opinion, a positive progression............even though it feels really bad right now. Of course it would, you are looking at the truth and your hope is dying............that is an extremely difficult thing to face and yet, in my experience, we have to face it.</p><p></p><p>Remember awhile ago I posted about the death of hope? If I remember correctly you had a strong response to that.............(I had a strong response to that too when I first heard someone say it) I think it's so devastating to us to think of giving up hope........but it is OUR expectation of what is<u> <em>supposed</em></u> to happen based on <em><u>our</u></em> beliefs.........which of course we have, these are our children! But when our kids go off the rails, by <em><u>their own choice</u></em>, we eventually hit a wall called hope which begins to look as if our expectations are NOT going to be met. This is the truth. This is what is. This is an important point in our own healing............ we finally let go, we surrender to what is, we accept............but usually before we do that.............we end up in the FOG, holding on and letting go and holding on and letting go.......and it hurts like the dickens...................................</p><p></p><p>................... it's a process COM.</p><p></p><p>Don't analyze where you stand in the process, because truthfully, I don't think we can know that because there is really so much FOG involved. We are all over the place emotionally and the landscape keeps moving keeping us continually shaken. However, it does end COM, it really does...............as we let go, as we surrender to the truth, we are set free from the tyranny of the illusion of control we cling to so desperately..................</p><p></p><p>Hang in there COM, you're in an important part of your own healing..........hold on and breathe, refrain, refrain even from figuring out where you are, you are where you are and right now all you can do is...........let go...........</p><p></p><p>I'm right here with you COM, right here........... along with ECHO and Cedar, and MWM, and Seeking Strength, and Tryagain, and Alby, and Tearyeyed, and Esri and Helpangel, the whole crew is holding you up, circling the wagons, keeping the faith while you just rest, just rest COM, rest in the knowledge that this too shall pass and you will be just fine..........and your son will find a way to listen to the World Cup and you will laugh again................I promise.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 629546, member: 13542"] Oh COM, I know how you are feeling right now, we all do, we've been there........ and many times too. I am so sorry, it does hurt like the dickens, I know. If you are indeed in the FOG, it is not a step back or 1000 steps back, it is an internal fight to NOT behave in the old ways while the NEW ways attempt to gain strength...........it is a battle going on inside of you which produces the FOG, a place of non action and internal turmoil as your maternal desires clash with the truth of the situation. It is a part of recovery, it is not a relapse, it is actually, in my opinion, a positive progression............even though it feels really bad right now. Of course it would, you are looking at the truth and your hope is dying............that is an extremely difficult thing to face and yet, in my experience, we have to face it. Remember awhile ago I posted about the death of hope? If I remember correctly you had a strong response to that.............(I had a strong response to that too when I first heard someone say it) I think it's so devastating to us to think of giving up hope........but it is OUR expectation of what is[U] [I]supposed[/I][/U] to happen based on [I][U]our[/U][/I] beliefs.........which of course we have, these are our children! But when our kids go off the rails, by [I][U]their own choice[/U][/I], we eventually hit a wall called hope which begins to look as if our expectations are NOT going to be met. This is the truth. This is what is. This is an important point in our own healing............ we finally let go, we surrender to what is, we accept............but usually before we do that.............we end up in the FOG, holding on and letting go and holding on and letting go.......and it hurts like the dickens................................... ................... it's a process COM. Don't analyze where you stand in the process, because truthfully, I don't think we can know that because there is really so much FOG involved. We are all over the place emotionally and the landscape keeps moving keeping us continually shaken. However, it does end COM, it really does...............as we let go, as we surrender to the truth, we are set free from the tyranny of the illusion of control we cling to so desperately.................. Hang in there COM, you're in an important part of your own healing..........hold on and breathe, refrain, refrain even from figuring out where you are, you are where you are and right now all you can do is...........let go........... I'm right here with you COM, right here........... along with ECHO and Cedar, and MWM, and Seeking Strength, and Tryagain, and Alby, and Tearyeyed, and Esri and Helpangel, the whole crew is holding you up, circling the wagons, keeping the faith while you just rest, just rest COM, rest in the knowledge that this too shall pass and you will be just fine..........and your son will find a way to listen to the World Cup and you will laugh again................I promise. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Letter to difficult child
Top