Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Letters They Never Read
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 633535" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>An update of sorts. I took the letter to his detox unit and left it for him. He left detox but we did not know where he went. A week after I dropped the letter he showed up at the house with his backpacking gear on and his car stuck in the middle of nowhere. Somehow (because it is so hard not to get caught up in the maelstrom) I ended up helping him get his car out and let him spend the night. We talked to him about his plan to go hiking and that he had just left detox and wouldn't be getting a lot of sobriety support on the trail. We let him make some calls to see about getting his old job back, which didn't work out, and his old bed at the sober living facility, which might work out. He spent Saturday morning watching TV and I told him I was getting some deja vu about a lack of effort with job hunting. He said he did not think anyone would be in the office on Saturday and said he would be hard at job hunting first thing Monday morning, and added that he understood why I would feel that way, given his history.</p><p></p><p>Honestly, I had my doubts, but yesterday he was up when he said he would be, made calls, secured an interview and got a job with a moving company. He started today. "Loaned" him a tank of gas so he could get to work this week. Said he hopes to be back in his sober living house in 30 days, which is what the director promised if he stayed sober and found a full-time job. The work site is close to the sober living house and the hours will allow him to go to his group meetings. </p><p></p><p>He told me he had already decided to leave detox and was checking himself out when they handed him my letter. He read it and went to stay with a friend, the one who will smoke a little pot with him but will not tolerate him drinking or using anything else. She read the letter and told him that what I was saying is that it is very sad that he would give up so many wonderful dreams just to get wasted, and she told him that he needed to at least let us know where he was. In that difficult child brain of his, it somehow made sense to him that he would hide his car in the woods and leave on the adventure he'd given up on to drink, then call and let us know he was doing it (of course not remembering what day his prepaid phone plan expired and that he wasn't prepared).</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, as preposterous as that is, it sounds like something he would do.</p><p></p><p>So who knows how much of what he is telling me is true. But he's working, he's been going to meetings every other day, he's been pleasant to be around and he helps without being asked. He has a plan in place to get back to the situation that helped him get 5 months of sobriety under his belt.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how long it will last, but for today I am glad that I gave him the chance to do things differently. Now I am going to continue stepping back and stop trying to control the outcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 633535, member: 17720"] An update of sorts. I took the letter to his detox unit and left it for him. He left detox but we did not know where he went. A week after I dropped the letter he showed up at the house with his backpacking gear on and his car stuck in the middle of nowhere. Somehow (because it is so hard not to get caught up in the maelstrom) I ended up helping him get his car out and let him spend the night. We talked to him about his plan to go hiking and that he had just left detox and wouldn't be getting a lot of sobriety support on the trail. We let him make some calls to see about getting his old job back, which didn't work out, and his old bed at the sober living facility, which might work out. He spent Saturday morning watching TV and I told him I was getting some deja vu about a lack of effort with job hunting. He said he did not think anyone would be in the office on Saturday and said he would be hard at job hunting first thing Monday morning, and added that he understood why I would feel that way, given his history. Honestly, I had my doubts, but yesterday he was up when he said he would be, made calls, secured an interview and got a job with a moving company. He started today. "Loaned" him a tank of gas so he could get to work this week. Said he hopes to be back in his sober living house in 30 days, which is what the director promised if he stayed sober and found a full-time job. The work site is close to the sober living house and the hours will allow him to go to his group meetings. He told me he had already decided to leave detox and was checking himself out when they handed him my letter. He read it and went to stay with a friend, the one who will smoke a little pot with him but will not tolerate him drinking or using anything else. She read the letter and told him that what I was saying is that it is very sad that he would give up so many wonderful dreams just to get wasted, and she told him that he needed to at least let us know where he was. In that difficult child brain of his, it somehow made sense to him that he would hide his car in the woods and leave on the adventure he'd given up on to drink, then call and let us know he was doing it (of course not remembering what day his prepaid phone plan expired and that he wasn't prepared). Unfortunately, as preposterous as that is, it sounds like something he would do. So who knows how much of what he is telling me is true. But he's working, he's been going to meetings every other day, he's been pleasant to be around and he helps without being asked. He has a plan in place to get back to the situation that helped him get 5 months of sobriety under his belt. I don't know how long it will last, but for today I am glad that I gave him the chance to do things differently. Now I am going to continue stepping back and stop trying to control the outcome. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Letters They Never Read
Top